Learning to Fly Chapter Five
by 
The Amazoness Duo 
and
G.P. 
amazonessduo@hotmail.com
pearsong1954@yahoo.com


"Just go with him, Meiling. He's the heir. We need someone to keep
an eye on him so he doesn't do something completely stupid while he's
in Japan. You're the only one he trusts."Walking down the crowded
street, gazing at the merchandise for sale on all sides, Meiling's
amber eyes narrowed. "Why the hell should I? If he wants to go across
the sea to screw his girlfriend, that's his business. I don't see how
that has anything to do with me." 

A moment of silence came from Fanren. Syaoran's older sister was
trying to approach the subject as diplomatically as possible.
Unfortunately, Meiling was not always a logical being. It didn't help
that the subject of Syaoran was rapidly becoming a minefield for her.
Fanren couldn't remember the last time she'd pissed someone off
simply by kissing them. In fact, her results were generally quite the
opposite. She would have to give Syaoran some pointers. Her little
brother must be doing something wrong. "Because he's about to become
the head of the Li Clan and he's not always... as tactful as he could
be."Meiling snorted. "That's for sure.""Anyway," Fanren continued,
"Syaoran is a stubborn young man and if he's off in Japan visiting
his girlfriend, he might do something stupid. Like if Sakura
convinces him to stay in Japan so they can live together there.
Mother doesn't mind if he marries the Cardmistress, but Syaoran is
the next heir and we need him back home in Hong Kong to lead the
family."Shrugging, Meiling feigned interest in some caged birds in
the marketplace, brushing a pigtail over her shoulder. "Then send
someone else to play your watchdog. I've spent enough time keeping an
eye on him."An exasperated sigh escaped Fanren. "But you're the only
one he'll listen to. If Sakura manages to convince him to stay, do
you really think he'd listen to me? Or Shiefa? Maybe mother, but
she's far too busy to go with him to Japan. But he listens to you,
Meiling. He trusts you. You're the only one outside of mother who can
actually make him do anything. You can make sure he comes back home
when his little trip is over."

Fists clenched as Meiling stood up, her back to Fanren. "We all make
our choices. And we all have to live with him. I can't make up
Syaoran's mind for him. He'll make his choices whether or not I'm
there."Fanren was quiet for a long moment as she watched her younger
cousin. Was Meiling crying? She couldn't quite tell. "Meiling..." Her
hand rested lightly on Meiling's shoulder, but the raven haired girl
quickly pulled away."Syaoran's already made his choices. You give me
way too much credit. In the end, he's already made his choices. We
just need to wait and see what they are. I can't change them. I spent
way too much of my life hoping I could." Syaoran's one time fiancee
straighted as she began to walk again. "I'll go with him if it will
make your mother feel better. But Syaoran's not as weak as you think
he is. In the end, he'll decide his own destiny." "Thanks, Meiling.
I'm sorry that..."Meiling cut her off, shaking her head. "Don't be.
We all make choices. Maybe I made the wrong ones. But we all have to
live with them." A few steps pulled her away from Fanren. "I'm going
to pack for the trip. Tell Syaoran I'll see him then." And with that,
the raven haired girl left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Naked and confused, Sakura decided to fix the only one of her two
problems she currently had any control over. Slipping out of bed, the
brunette padded over to her closet and hurriedly got dressed. Her
head still ached, but the tea Tomoyo had sent with Kero had helped.
The earthquake between her ears had settled into a dull throb.
Finding this an acceptable if annoying state to start the day in,
Sakura exited her room. After all, there were potentially much more
important afteraffects of the last night than a hangover. 
	Dressed in yet another beautiful dress, hair in pigtails, and in
the middle of constructing a delicious smelling breakfast, Tomoyo
seemed like the perfect wife. Is that what Sakura's father had woken
up to for so many years? Was this what it felt like for him every
morning, breath catching at the gorgeous sight before him? Mind
rolling through those questions, Sakura stood in the doorway to the
kitchen, her own breath catching as she watched her fair skinned
roommate move gracefully about the kitchen. If she'd been a boy,
would she have had any reservations at all of being with Tomoyo?
Would there be anything stopping her from sweeping Tomoyo up in her
strong, boyish arms and holding her forever?
	"Good morning, Sakura," Tomoyo greeted brightly without looking up
from her current task of pouring batter onto a pan. "How did you
sleep?" 
	As usual, being able to tell what had happened the night before
from Tomoyo's behavior was impossibe. The dark haired girl betrayed
no clue of exactly what may have happened between them the night
before. Puzzling this over, the Cardmistress dropped into a chair and
watched her friend putting the finishing touches on breakfast. Had
they slept together? The feeling of Tomoyo's lips pressing against
her own brought a dark blush to her cheeks. Whatever had happened,
that memory was still vividly clear. Brief images and feelings of
hands sliding underneath clothing flittered through Sakura's mind,
but they fled when she tried to grasp at them. 
	It seemed like the only thing Sakura really knew at this point was
that Tomoyo was a very different kisser than Syaoran. Much softer,
much more receptive. Fists balled up and pressed against her thighs
through her shorts in frustration and emarrassment. Why was the last
night such a blur? Why wasn't Tomoyo saying anything? If Tomoyo had
been naked in the kitchen, then that would've been a big enough clue
that Sakura could appreciate. Sakura sat in silence for a long
moment, listening to her friend sing softly as she prodded herself to
ask Tomoyo what had happened. What if they had? What would happen
after that? Infinity seemed to stretch out in front of the
Cardmistress, boggling her mind. 	Pressing her knuckles into her
thighs painfully, Sakura forced herself to speak. Unfortunately, her
mind still wasn't responding entirely. She was still hesitant to ask.
"Tomoyo, did... Umm... Last night, after.... Well, did you... I mean,
we... Tomoyo, if I were a boy, I'd marry you," Sakura finished
dumbly, her cheeks reddened. It wasn't exactly what she'd meant to
say, but she'd wanted to say it anyway.	"Would you?" Tomoyo countered
softly, travelling to the table with their plates. "If you were a
boy, lets say that Syaoran was a girl. Or he could still be a boy.
Touya doesn't seem to mind that about Yukito. Then you two would
still have ended up together because I would have noticed how much he
or she liked you and helped you two end up together."	"But you'd make
a perfect girlfriend. If I were a boy, I'd notice that and we'd..."
Sakura put her hands together, motioning, "be a couple. Or something
like that." She looked down embarrassedly at the smile that brought
to Tomoyo's lips. Those soft lips... Sakura tried to force the
thought out of her head. 	"You're so sweet, Sakura. But I don't think
you didn't notice me because you're a girl. When I was younger, I
thought that was it, but I think it's more than that now. I've been
your best friend since we were ten years old. I've been in love with
you from the moment I saw you, and it's gotten stronger for me ever
since. But to you, I've always been your best friend. That's how you
see me. It's hard for you to see me as anything else. If you were a
boy, we still would have been best friends. And you'd still think of
me as that while other girls got your attention. Even if you think I
would make a perfect girlfriend and even if you were a boy, I think
you wouldn't see me as a possible lover because you'd still see me as
your best friend. I love filling that role for you, but it would make
it hard for you to see me as anything more than that."	"But... But
what if I could see through that? What if I could push past that and
see that you could be more than my best friend?" Sakura argued.
Tomoyo made sense, but Sakura didn't want to give up yet. It didn't
seem fair that she could totally miss Tomoyo even if she were a boy.
	A smile spread over Tomoyo's pink lips. "Then it wouldn't matter if
you were a boy or a girl."	Blushing, Sakura's chestnut hair hid her
face as she looked down, studying her hands intently. Were her
feelings for Tomoyo really so unaffected by what body she had? If
that was the case, what did she feel? Because she thought she'd want
to be with Tomoyo if she were a boy. Did that mean she'd want to be
with her now, as a girl?
	Looking up suddenly, an intense fire lit Sakura's eyes.
Determination had finally overtaken her. She didn't want to squirm
away from this again. Tomoyo was too important to her to just leave
everything to the winds. "Did we sleep together?" Though the thought
thoroughly embarrassed her, she wasn't afraid of it. The thought of
sleeping with Tomoyo wasn't at all disturbing, which Sakura found a
bit odd. It had been embarrassing the first time she'd slept with
Syaoran as well. Despite the fact that she had previously slept with
a boy, the thought of sleeping with a girl really didn't bother
Sakura. She was much more concerned with what exactly it meant if she
had. 	"Do you want us to have slept together?" Tomoyo asked, tilting
her head to the side. One pigtail slid past her shoulder as her
lavender eyes held onto Sakura's emerald gaze. She'd been curious
about whether or not Sakura would ask about the night before. Sakura
was curious, but she didn't always push things to their conclusion
when she was embarrassed about them. She was surprised to see Sakura
trying so hard to rationalize the events of the night before. If she
weren't so intimately involved, it would be easier for her to help
Sakura get things into perpective. But maybe Sakura wouldn't need her
for this after all. It thrilled Tomoyo to see Sakura so determined
about figuring things out. When Sakura was determined, nothing could
stop her. Though she understood Sakura's feelings better than anyone,
she couldn't untangle the web in Sakura's heart. Only Sakura could do
that. 	Tomoyo's question hung in the air, stopping Sakura cold. Her
own question had been about fishing for facts. It was a simple yes or
no. But Tomoyo's question complicated things exponentially. The
brunette's feelings didn't factor into whether or not they had slept
together so she hadn't really thought about it. That seemed like a
minor problem anyway. But the way Tomoyo spoke made her feelings
sound like the single most important aspect of if they did or not.
"I..." Sakura began. 
	'Rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg....' the phone trilled. 	Watching
Sakura for a long second, the dark haired girl slipped gently from
the table to answer the phone. Sakura sat in confused silence until
Tomoyo returned.	"It's Syaoran. He said he'll be arriving in Tomoeda
late tonight," Tomoyo explained, holding the phone out to
Sakura.	"Hoe..." Sakura's head fell to the table with a thump loud
enough to make Tomoyo wonder if she should get the first aid kit.
Sakura sighed despite the pain. Great. As if things weren't
complicated enough. Now she'd have her boyfriend and her best friend
that she may or may not have slept with all in the same place.
Sometimes she wasn't so sure that Clow was done testing
her.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Bags passed round and round, a carousel of black, of handles and
wheels, of bags backed to the brim with necessary and worthless
supplies for countless trips. Lifeless ponies, endlessly cirlcling in
the hopes that someone would eventually take an interest and bring
them home. Tired eyes from wary travellers dully watched the cycle as
if in a trance. Now and then someone would yank one of the bags away
and a new one would slide down the chute to replace it. People's eyes
would briefly light up in hope that their bag had arrived, but they
quickly became disenchanted.	Hefting her bags up, Meiling pulled
ahead of her cousin and one-time fiancee as he struggled to find a
proper way to balance the weight of his own supplies. Ignoring his
efforts to carry something for her, Meiling impatiently began making
her way through the airport, Syaoran hurrying to keep up with her. "I
don't know why you brought so much stuff. Sakura will probably have
everything you need at her place."	A moment of silence followed
Meiling as Syaoran took a moment to interpret this. Feelings were not
his strong point. And the feelings of overemotional girls had the
same affect on him as a complex mathematical formula he couldn't hope
to follow. On the one hand, at least Meiling was talking to him
again. This was a relief in and of itself because she had been
avoiding him since he had kissed her at the party some time before.
But he still wasn't entirely sure how she felt about things. And this
concerned him. Because if he had learned anything over the years, it
was that Meiling could be frightfully scary when she was angry. His
cousin must have gotten that from his mother's side of the family.
How Meiling felt about being back in Japan with him, about to meet
Sakura again, was a mystery to him. For the most part, Meiling seemed
to be her normal self. Stubborn, irrational, and incredibly vocal
about things. He decided that she must be fine and that he'd leave it
at that. Trying to delve into Meiling's emotional state otherwise
would be about as frustrating and problematic as figuring out
Sakura's. He had enough of a headache from the plane ride that he
figured it would be best to avoid aggravating it if at all possible.
If Meiling's sudden mood swings had any predictible pattern, it was
so complex that Syaoran was certain only mathematical theoreticians
could understand it.
	"Sakura doesn't have everything I need. If I'm staying a while, I
need to make sure I have everything with me," Syaoran replied matter-
of-factly. 
	"Like what? You want a manlier shampoo than whatever she uses?
You'd be fine just borrowing her stuff." Arching an eyebrow, Meiling
glanced over at her stoic cousin. "You probably didn't even need to
bring clothes. She wears boyish enough outfits half the time that you
could just borrow some of those." Smiling inwardly, she added, "You'd
get used to the panties before too long." The flustered look that
crossed Syaoran's face was worth it. He failed to respond and she
continued forward. 
	"Syaoran! Meiling-chan!" a familiar voice called out. 
	Pulling to a halt, Syaoran began to scan the crowd for the voice's
source. His amber eyes finally settled on his brightly smiling
girlfriend and her seemingly everpresent friend. For a moment, the
concern drained from Syaoran. Everything was fine now that he was
with Sakura again. He was far away from family politics and back with
the girl he loved.  
	Sighing inwardly, Meiling readjusted her bags and continued in step
with Syaoran to their welcoming party. It wasn't that she didn't like
Sakura as a person. Someone as compassionate and goofy as Sakura was
hard to hate. But Sakura as Syaoran's girlfriend was a different
story. Meiling tried to adopt a resigned disposition to the whole
thing. After all, she'd lost Syaoran to Sakura when they were only
eleven. Logically, it made sense to just drop it. Unfortunately,
Meiling was not a logical person. She hated knowing that Sakura was
with Syaoran in the way she had wanted to be ever since she was a
child. Since she wasn't the type to spend a lot of time lying about
polite niceities, she simply waited alongside Syaoran rather than say
something she might regret if she were going to be staying with
Sakura for their stay in Japan.
	Before Syaoran could think of what to say to his girlfriend now
that he was finally face to face with her once again, the brunette
practically pounced on him. Her arms wrapped tightly around him,
pulling him close. Holding onto her boyfriend warmly, Syaoran was
surprised at how strong Sakura had become over the years. She had
always been athletic, but it showed even more now. It took him a
moment to disengage himself enough to return the hug. Holding Sakura
felt nice. She was like an anchor to the way things were supposed to
be. Safe and warm. "It's good to see you again, Sakura," he said at
last. He felt like he should say more, but he was too stunned to be
with the Cardmistress once more to think clearly. Memories from a
lifetime ago exploded through his mind, of magic and school and
romance. 
	Moving to pick up one of the bags Syaoran had set down, Tomoyo
smiled and motioned for them to follow. "My mother let me take the
limo to pick you up. It'll be much easier to get you home that way." 
	The pale girl looked small and fragile holding the bag in front of
her, prompting Sakura to quickly take it from her, falling in step
alongside the heiress. Turning to face Syaoran, Sakura smiled
sheepishly. "I would have picked you up myself, but I don't think
we'd all fit on my bicycle."
	For a moment, Sakura almost came out of focus in Syaoran's mind.
This goofy, energetic Japanese girl seemed so normal at first glance.
And yet she was the most powerful magic user on the planet. The
dissonance was astounding. Sakura had the power to rebuild the world
in her image, and yet she got from place to place on a plain bicycle.
It was hard to imagine that she was the correct successor to the
great Clow Reed. Syaoran was head of the powerful Li Clan and yet he
had been passed up for such a simple girl. He slowly managed to place
Sakura's twin identities of ordinary girl and extraordinary magician
back together. It could be a bit jarring at times. He hoped Clow
found the irony amusing. His eyes narrowed as he changed his mind.
Clow seemed to find everything immensely amusing. 
	Women dressed smartly in black opened the doors to the limo as the
group approached. One took the bags and began to place them in back.
Climbing into the vehicle, Tomoyo moved to one side to give Sakura
and Syaoran room together in the middle. Sitting quietly for a long
moment, Syaoran stared straight ahead. He wasn't a little boy
anymore, so why was he feeling so nervous? He hated feeling shy and
nervous about things. Hadn't he gotten over that by now? Wrestling
his nervous mind back under control, he reached out and took Sakura's
hand. A small gesture, but he was happy for the victory. He didn't
want to let his nervousness control him. Sakura squeezed his hand and
smiled at him. Her offered a small, shy smile in return. It
disappeared as she rested her head on his shoulder for the car ride.
Good. Things hadn't changed after all. Everything was just fine. He
wrapped an arm around the athletic girl and let his chaotic mind come
to a rest. 	Gazing out the window, Meiling wished she had fought with
Fanren more strenuously about coming to Japan. Who was she kidding?
She wasn't strong enough to handle this. She still loved Syaoran. How
was she supposed to sit and watch him love someone else? She should
have stayed home, far away from this pain. Closing her amber eyes,
she tried to pretend that the warm, wet drops sliding down her cheeks
were the cleansing rain. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

	As Tomoyo led the way up to the appartment they shared, Sakura
helped Syaoran carry the bags. Meiling refused to let anyone help her
with her own, instead following closely behind the heiress. In many
ways, it was worse when Sakura was so kind and helpful to her. That
always robbed Meiling of a target for her anger, leaving all those
terrible feelings with nowhere to escape. They boiled away inside,
eating her alive. She felt sick to her stomach as Sakura's bubbly
voice mingled with Syaoran's behind her about all the things they
could do. God, did they really have to spend so long in Tomoeda? Her
mind idly wondered if she could get on a plane back to Hong Kong
first thing in the morning. It might even be worth looking weak and
shameful in front of Fanren just to get away from the pain that
surrounded her in Japan.
	Entering the cutely decorated appartment, the Chinese cousins were
suitably impressed. Sonomi had made sure that the two girls were well
taken care of. Their eyes wandered over the appartment as they
entered, exhanging their shoes with the assortment of slippers by the
door. The surroundings were an interesting mix of Sakura's taste in
cute stuffed animals and decorations along with Tomoyo's more
eccentric tastes in clothing and design and electronics. Suffice it
to say, milky pink seemed the predominant color in the appartment.
	"Hey, it's the brat! How ya doin'?" 
	Wincing at the thickly accented voice, Syaoran was unsurprised to
find that he hadn't missed the Seal Beast in the slightest.	"Better
than you, I'd suppose. Syaoran's been growing over the past few
years. You're still bite sized, as always," Meiling remarked. Old
habits died hard. Kero had always supported Sakura and she had always
supported Syaoran, quite exuberantly so. The Chinese girl and the
Guardian of the Cards bickered like children over their chosen
champions. The fact that Kero had never liked Syaoran didn't really
help, either. 
	Kero's mind went abuzz with Meiling's coment. They certainly
sounded like fighting words and he was more than up for the
challenge. Lifting up into the air, he smirked as a slurry of
remarks, each more stinging than the last, began to take shape.
Meiling shouldn't have opened the floodgate. She would regret
challanging him, the great and all powerful Seal Beast. He would
destroy her in this exchange. His mouth moved to launch his opening
salvo. "MMmmmhmmhhmmghhhh..." he mumbled around Sakura's
hand.	Laughing nervously, Sakura dragged Kero back towards her room.
"Go ahead and have a seat. Make yourselves comfortable," she offered.
Pushing her door open, she tossed Syaoran's bags on her bed and
pushed Kero in. "Not tonight, Kero-chan," Sakura pleaded. Before Kero
could answer, the door shut quickly behind him. The Seal Beast
harumphed indignantly.
	Clapping her hands together in completion, Sakura smiled at the
small group already sitting on her couch. At least that was out of
the way. If Syaoran and Meiling were staying with them, the last
thing she needed was Kero and Meiling arguing the whole time. At
least Tomoyo had handled things swiftly. The dark haired girl always
made a great hostess. Tomoyo already had Meiling and Syaoran well
taken care of and entertained. Syaoran's eyes were glued to the
screen. Curiosity nagged at Sakura as she approached the couch. What
were they watching? The sound hit her before she could see the
screen. That sounded suspiciously like her own voice. Plopping down
on the couch next to Syaoran, she was rewarded with images of herself
streaming on the television. "Tomoyo-chan..." she whimpered
embarrassedly. 
	Tomoyo merely smiled sweetly at her and went back to watching the
video she'd made of Sakura. "I compiled this earlier today. Since you
haven't seen Sakura in so long, I thought you'd want to see what
types of things she's been up to," Tomoyo explained. A nod came as
the only reply from Syaoran as images of Sakura riding her bike and
wearing costumes and running track all played for them. The brunette
had gotten exceptionally fast since Syaoran had last seen her. She
moved like a blur across the screen. For all the magic she had, her
running was purely Sakura, her determination burning within her as
she threw herself forward like a shot.
	Sighing to herself, Meiling busied herself with being bored. Bored
was better than lonely and bitter and hateful. Resting her chin in
her hands, she wondered what the big deal was with watching Sakura do
anything.
	The screen switched to Sakura wearing a fairy costume in an
elevator. She shifted back and forth on her feet as she waited for
her stop. The camera swept over Sakura's body, highlighting all the
beautiful curves and lines that composed the Cardmistress. "Sakura-
chan has a great figure doesn't she, Li-kun?" Tomoyo asked playfully.
Sakura blushed hotly, followed shortly thereafter by Syaoran as he
mumbled an affirmative. Sakura was gorgeous. Her body had developed
nicely over the years. Her athletic frame was sleek and strong. Her
small breasts curved gently under her dress. Her hair was somewhat
longer than it had been as a child, hanging lower and framing her
beautiful face with it's shining emerald eyes. 
	Tomoyo sighed dreamily as she watched the part of Sakura she would
always have. Her images would always be hers, even if Sakura couldn't
be. They were only a small fraction of Sakura, but they were pieces
that were hers and hers alone. It was okay if Syaoran had the real
Sakura. She would always have those glittering shards of her one and
only. So she collected as many as she could. Disc after disc of
Sakura. Every single moment she could capture went on those discs. So
even after Sakura was gone and married, even when everything had
changed, she would still have those moments forever cast in video. 
	"Tomoyo-chan... Do you really need to show all this?" Sakura asked
hesitantly. She was still blushing in embarrassment. Her blush grew
deeper when she saw how intently Syaoran was watching the screen.
"Hoe..."	"Of course! You're the prettiest thing we could be watching.
And there's so much to see. It's been a busy year. I need to make
sure I catalogue all the important things in your life. Speaking of
which..." The darked haired girl fished around in her bag, pulling
out her camcorder. "Now that Li-kun is here, I should be catching all
of the exciting moments the two of you have. Just pretend I'm not
even here." The pale girl grinned as she got the two of them in the
picture. "I don't have many images of Sakura-chan's passionate
romance. I don't think I even have any good scenes of you two
kissing." 
	The couple lit up red as the heiress filmed them. Tomoyo always had
been quirky, but she seemed even more so than she had been as a
child. Syaoran had once told Sakura that Tomoyo would videotape them
sleeping together if she had the chance. Sakura had been unable to
argue against that. It wouldn't surprise her at all. There didn't
seem to be anything that the dark haired girl didn't like recording
about her. And sometimes Tomoyo seemed more excited about Sakura's
relationship than Sakura was. 	"We were... umm... gonna talk. So...
We'll see you later." Syaoran knew his excuse was lame, but it was
the best he could do. Despite the fact that Sakura was obviously
embarrassed, he knew from experience that Sakura would never send
Tomoyo away from videotaping them. The heiress had videotaped most of
their date the last time he was in Japan. He had been halfway through
unbuttoning Sakura's shirt when he realized Tomoyo was still there
videotaping them. He had been shocked that Sakura hadn't sent Tomoyo
away after that, merely blushing and waiting. Sakura might not mind
for whatever reason, but Syaoran wasn't about to make out with Sakura
on videotape. So it looked like it was up to him to get Sakura and
leave so they could get some time to themselves. He wished Sakura
would want more privacy for the two of them, but she never seemed to
mind the Daidouji girl's presence.
	"We were?" Sakura asked, blinking, turning to Syaoran. A
disappointed look crossed her face. She was glad Syaoran was here,
but she didn't want to leave yet. Tomoyo could be a bit embarrassing,
but in a sweet way. It made her feel more important. She was happy to
have Tomoyo there, even when she was with Syaoran. It made her feel
stronger and more confident, like she could handle anything. She was
shy about everything going on video, but if Tomoyo really wanted to
catch it all, she didn't mind. In a way, it made it something she and
Tomoyo could share. She couldn't really talk to Syaoran about
everything, but she could with Tomoyo. And when Tomoyo was an eye in
Sakura's life, videotaping it, it was like they shared the
experience. She could talk to Tomoyo about any of it and Tomoyo would
understand it all. 
	"Yes," Syaoran nodded, leading Sakura to the door. "Have a nice
night." He bowed quickly. "Don't wait up for us." He hoped they'd
listen and he could come home with Sakura to a quiet appartment that
they could be semi-alone in. But he knew Tomoyo would be there,
waiting for them as always. Sighing, he slid his slippers off. His
eyes caught on Meiling, who was making a concentrated effort not to
look his way. For a moment, he balked about leaving the house and
leaving her alone. Guilt crept up from the pit of his stomach. Gazing
over, he wished she would look up so he could meet her eyes, to show
her he was sorry about this, but she refused to look in his
direction. It was too late now. Sakura already had her shoes and was
unlocking the door. Syaoran looked apologetically at Meiling, but she
never saw it. 	The door closed behind them, leaving the room in
silence. The television turned off a moment later. 	"You knew they'd
leave if you started videotaping them getting frisky," Meiling
stated, finally turning to look at the heiress who was heading to the
small kitchen seperated from the living room by a half-wall. 
	Nodding thoughtfully, Tomoyo stood on her tiptoes, pulling down
some wine glasses. "I knew it was a distinct possibility." Turning in
place, she wandered to the back of the kitchen.	Resting her arms on
the back of the couch, Meiling watched the heiress hurrying about the
kitchen. "Thanks," she said simply. Life was miserable enough without
having to sit next to the lovestruck couple. Being close enough to
get elbowed by the one you love while he makes out with another
wouldn't have done any favors for her state of mind. 
	Reentering the room, Tomoyo offered her a soft smile. Her graceful
form moved swiftly to the table, setting down the two wine glasses
and the bottle of wine she had retrieved from the kitchen. "My mother
left this for me. I think she was hoping it would help facilitate
some romantic moments with Sakura," she explained, filling up the two
glasses.
	A bitter smile crossed Meiling's face. "Instead it gets to wash
away the lonely night while she's galavanting around with her
boyfriend. Not exactly the same thing." Reaching out, she took a long
gulp of the wine. It burned as it went down, but she didn't care. Her
eyes watered, but she blinked away the tears quickly. "How do you
deal with it? You love her, don't you? So how can you just sit there
and smile while she loves someone else?"	"Of course I love her."
Tomoyo sat next to Meiling, sipping at her wine. "But if she loves
someone else, then what else can I do? I want her to be happy. If
Sakura would be happier with someone else, then that's what I want
for her. I want to see her happy and loved and cared for. I want to
be able to watch Sakura's wonderful life as it unfolds her
her."	Meiling shook her head. "You hide behind that damn camcorder
too much. You figure as long as you're behind the camera, you're not
here. You're not a part of Sakura's life, so you can try to
orchestrate it so the girl you love will have a happy ending. Then
your movie will be perfect. You can just watch it all end happily and
not actually have to be part of it. But you aren't the director. This
isn't a movie. You -are- here. You are part of her life. You do love
her. And she's running off playing grab ass with my goddamn fiancee."
Slumping back against the couch, the raven haired woman pulled her
legs up like a sullen child. 
	Gazing at the large television that filled the front of the room,
Tomoyo sat in silence for a moment. "It's simpler that way, isn't it?
Sakura is my best friend. I love her. I want things to work out for
her. If I can make her life turn out happily, then that makes me
happy. I can watch my videos and I'll see her smile and it lights up
my heart. Because I know she'll be fine. I know her story will have
turned out perfectly. I can be her guardian angel. I can be a helping
hand. I can try to be the director to make sure that her life is
happy. She'll be happy the way my mother never was. Sakura deserves
her own fairytale and I want to watch it happen. I want to make it
happen," Tomoyo answered wistfully. Looking into her drink, she took
another sip. 	"But what's wrong with you being the one to make her
happy? You think Syaoran can make her happier, right? But what's
wrong if you can't make her as happy as he can? You'd try your
hardest to make her happy. And I know you'd do a good job. Then not
only would she be happy, but so would you." Meiling sighed. "Maybe
Sakura can make Syaoran happier than I could. But I love him, damn
it. And I know I'd do everything I could to make him happy. So maybe
I wouldn't be as good. But not as good does not mean not good enough.
I wouldn't just give up because he has a thing for Japanese tomboys."
Amber eyes followed the slender heiress in the dimly lit living room.
She could tell that Tomoyo was hesitant, as if she were unsure of
herself. This was an awkward sight for Meiling. Tomoyo had always
seemed so calm and controlled, no matter what the situation. She only
ever seemed out of sorts if Sakura was in danger.
	Taking a longer drink of her wine, Tomoyo paused before answering.
"I want Sakura to be happy. And I would love to make her happy if I
could. But I've given up my chance with her. I gave it up years ago.
I was the one who tried to get Syaoran to tell her how he felt. I
tried to convince Sakura that she loved him. I was the one who pushed
them together. So I forfeited my chance with her a long time ago. I
can't interfere now. They're happy together. I can't threaten that."
	"You were a little girl when you did that! You can't blame yourself
for something stupid you did years ago. Things have changed. Sakura
knows you love her now. She wouldn't have understood that back then."
Meiling waved her hands emphatically nearly spilling her half empty
drink. "Just because you played a hand in them getting together
doesn't mean you owe it to them to stay out of it. Life is not a
movie. It doesn't work out perfectly. You can't just sit back and
watch things play out for them. You need to live your own life."
	Tomoyo laughed softly. "Sakura's life is much more interesting to
me. I'd rather just watch how it works out. But yes, I do need to
live my own life, too. And I do. My life is just very centered around
Sakura."
	Sighing, Meiling finished off her glass, staring forward and
hugging her legs with one arm. "I never really did get why everyone's
so obsessed with her. I'm just as athletic. I'm outgoing, too. I'm
sure as hell prettier. And I'm a better singer," she finished
counting down. "So why always her? Why does everyone like her instead
of me?"
	"Sometimes we're too close to things to see them clearly. Maybe
Syaoran was always too close to you to tell what he had right in
front of him." Tomoyo said gently, rubbing Meiling's shoulder.
	Amber eyes suddenly looked up, locking Tomoyo's stormy blue orbs in
place. "And what about you?" Her voice had lost it's earlier
conviction. The Chinese martial artist sounded weak and desolate.
	Sipping at her wine, Tomoyo swallowed slowly, tasting the tart
grapes washing over her tastebuds. For a long moment, she was unsure
of how to reply. Meiling's eyes shined wetly at her in the dim room.
"I fell in love with Sakura the first day I met her. And those
feelings have grown everyday since. It's hard for me to see anyone
else like that because my heart has belonged to her for so long,"
Tomoyo explained. 	Meiling nodded weakly, fat, hot tears rolling
slowly down her cheeks. The room disappeared in front of her,
replaced with a wet blur. "Yeah... I've loved Syaoran since I was a
little girl... I always..." She sniffled before continuing.
"...always just wanted to be with him... I just... just wanted to be
good enough...." Her chest heaved as she tried in vain to catch her
breath. She angrily held her legs tighter, angry at herself for being
so weak, for breaking down so completely. She bit the inside of her
cheek to keep her lips from trembling, the blood warm and coppery in
her mouth.
	Tomoyo's soft arms wrapped around the shuddering girl, holding
Meiling close as she began to cry softly. Her nimble hands ran up and
down the raven haired girl's back comfortingly. They were the
casualties of love, those who were left on the wayside in the
process, forgotten and alone. It seemed a terrible price to pay.
Whereas Tomoyo had always been ready to sacrifice herself for
Sakura's happiness and love with another, Meiling had never consented
to that. Life had made that decision for her. Now both of their loves
were in the arms of each other while they sat in a dark appartment
drinking wine and reminiscing about their lost loves.
	Shaking lightly as sobs tried to break free of her chest, Meiling's
chin rested on Tomoyo's shoulder. Her warm, wet tears slid down her
cheeks, soaking through the dress to Tomoyo's pale skin underneath.
"Sakura's an idiot for not being able to see what she could have had
in you," Meiling whispered softly, her voice weighed down by tears.
The arms that encircled Meiling were warm and sympathetic, cradling
her close. They held a pained understanding of the wounds in
Meiling's heart and just how deep they went. The heiress was soft and
comfortable, her gentle caresses soothing the Chinese girl's weary
spirits. Tomoyo understood her in ways that no one else could. They
were the same, after all. Always loving, but never loved. Always
supporting, but left with nothing to lean on when they were in need.
Maybe Meiling couldn't just wait to be loved. Maybe she had to find
it.
	Hands resting on Tomoyo's shoulder to support herself, Meiling
slowly managed to sit up to look back at Tomoyo. Tear streaked amber
eyes pleaded with their stormy blue counterparts. Tomoyo's gaze
remained fixed on Meiling, compassionate and understanding and...
unsure. That was enough for Meiling. Leaning forward, her trembling
lips brushed Tomoyo's inexpertly, her fingers holding Tomoyo's
slender shoulders sharply as if she were afraid the heiress would
disappear if she let go. She'd never kissed a girl before. It felt
strange, but exhilerating. Freeing. All this time she had chased
after Syaoran and he had resisted. Tomoyo's petal soft lips felt
receptive, accepting of the quick, hesitant kisses she placed on
them. She grew more adventurous, her pain and loneliness eased by the
understanding inside of the heiress, the flames eating away inside of
her cooled by Tomoyo's gentle presence. Her kisses met Tomoyo's lips
for longer and longer, loving the way they gave against hers, how
they melded to her own lips. Her hands pulled the lavender haired
girl closer desperately, their dark hair mingling as the kisses
continued. 
	Meiling kissed her more hungrily as Tomoyo's fingers continued to
caress up and down her strong back. The Chinese girl's body was so
similar to Sakura's. So strong and lean and athletic. The way
Meiling's muscles felt under her hands reminded her of Sakura's. Even
Meiling's small breasts felt similar to Sakura's when they would hug.
If she couldn't have Sakura, then wasn't this the next best thing?
Tomoyo's mind wavered at the thought. It was so very tempting. She
wouldn't have to worry about ruining Sakura's relationship. And
Meiling felt so insistent. She felt a connection to the other girl
that could only be born of the flames of their shared suffering.
Meiling's tongue was playing inside of her mouth. It took Tomoyo a
moment to realize that her own tongue was responding. Her fingers
played through Meiling's silky pigtails, feeling herself held tightly
to Meiling's body. Meiling's tongue playing across her own, their
bodies pressed together, Tomoyo understood just how far the raven
haired girl was willing to go. Meiling never did like to do anything
halfway. But would that be so bad? To forget about Sakura for one
night... To lose herself in Meiling... Meiling obviously wanted that.
And she wanted to give that to her. But....
	But she still loved Sakura. And Meiling still loved Syaoran. Tomoyo
slowly pulled away, Meiling's breath hot against her lips.
"Meiling..." the heiress whispered softly. 
	It felt as if Meiling had awoken from a trance as Tomoyo put an end
to the moment. Shame crashed down across Meiling. Here she was in
Sakura's appartment, making out with the girl's best friend. Her
weakness had been so open, so obvious. She had succumbed to it, right
in front of Tomoyo. She'd been so desperate for companionship, for
understanding, that she had been willing, no, eager, to kiss another
girl. No, even more than that. She would have gladly given her body
to Tomoyo, she knew. Her face burned and her anger with herself
returned. What the hell was wrong with her?  Just how weak was she? 
	Sliding off the couch, Meiling bowed slightly as she excused
herself. "I need to get to sleep," she said curtly and turned to
leave. Her bags were in Tomoyo's room, she remembered with a pang.
She hoped she could fall asleep before she had to face the other girl
again. 	"Meiling, please..." Tomoyo pleaded. But if the Chinese girl
heard her, she made no sign, simply retreating to the back room.
Sighing heavily, the heiress hugged a pillow and curled up on the
couch. Couldn't she help anyone?
	
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Sakura slipped quietly out of bed, careful not to awaken Syaoran's
sleeping form. Her pajama pants lay somewhere on the floor, a
testament to the time the two lovers had spent fooling around
earleir. It had felt so nice, but it had brought too many thoughts
unbidden to Sakura's mind, so she had stopped it short. It had indeed
felt wonderful, but so had her time with Tomoyo. What she could
remember of it, at any rate. As Syaoran's hands had traced patterns
over her bare skin, memories of Tomoyo's hands traveling similar
paths had grown stronger. Now she couldn't even sleep. 
	Leaving her pants somewhere in the darkness after a moment's
fruitless search, Sakura padded silently out to the living room. She
needed to clear her head. Why was an intimate moment with her
boyfriend competing with memories of being drunk and in the arms of
her best friend? Why was her heart so torn? She liked being with
Syaoran. But those half-remembered moments with Tomoyo refused to
leave her alone. 
	"You couldn't sleep either?" a soft voice asked through the
darkness. Tomoyo smiled at her startled friend. The heiress took a
moment to appreciate the gorgeous pair of legs she could see in
Sakura's current state of undress. "Would you like some tea? I made
it just a little while ago, so it should still be warm." 
	Taking a moment to regain her composure, Saura took a seat next to
her pale wraith of a friend. "Thanks, Tomoyo." Accepting the cup, her
thoughts continued their jumbled rounds through her head. Hot tea
washed away her sleepiness, leaving her thoughts crisp and clear in
the night. The tea cup nearly burned her hands, but she held it
tightly. The pain was real and present, not some memory of the past.
	Tomoyo's love for her had been no secret for years now, but
Sakura's complex feelings for the heiress had always been explained
away as mere friendship. She had been intimate with Syaoran on
several occasions. He was her boyfriend, so that made perfect sense.
But now, she had also been intimate with her best friend. And had
loved it. Was it simply the alcohal mixed with her incredibly close
friendship to Tomoyo? Or was there more to it than that? Did she
honestly like being with Tomoyo in that way? Touya had told her of
plenty of stupid things he had seen people do while drunk. Where her
actions just another stupid, alcohal induced event? Another long sip
of the hot liquid helped burn away her reluctance like sunlight
through the morning fog. She was left with a strong sense of
determination where the confusion had been moments before. A need to
know, to understand if it had just been a mistake or not. Like Tomoyo
had said, did she want them to have slept together? 
	"What are you doing up?" Sakura asked at last. 
	Tomoyo's hands moved methodically through the darkness, dancing in
the shadows. The fact that she was sewing had, up till now, entirely
escaped Sakura. " I let Meiling use my room, so I've been out here
all night. I thought I'd get some sewing done while I was at it. I
was in the kitchen when you and Syaoran came in, but you seemed..."
she paused, searching for the right words, "like you would rather not
be disturbed, so I let you go back to your room without any
interruptions."	A blush played across Sakura's cheeks. They had been
somewhat... frisky when they had gotten home. She'd thought no one
was awake when they'd entered the appartment. Her blush disappeared,
replaced with a frown. Tomoyo's tone was perfectly cheerful, but
Sakura had learned over the years that just because Tomoyo sounded
fine didn't always mean that the dark haired girl was. "You shouldn't
be up so late. Between classes, studying and working for your mother,
you need your sleep, Tomoyo. You're so..." The brunette trailed off.
Watching the pale girl in the darkness, she wanted to say frail,
fragile. Tomoyo was a delicate China doll and sometimes Sakura was
frightened that the slightest thing would shatter her best friend. "I
worry about you," she said instead. 
	A warm smile met Sakura's emerald eyes as Tomoyo placed a slender
hand atop Sakura's. Sakura's hand turned under Tomoyo's to take it
and hold it, to keep it safe and protected in her own. "I'm glad you
would worry about me. I'm happy you'd care so much. But I'll be fine,
Sakura." It always made her ecstatic to know she could be so
important to Sakura, but she didn't want to concern the other girl
too much. Her mother had spent too many sleepless nights worrying
about her, especially whenever she would get sick, and she didn't
want to do the same to Sakura. She would be fine no matter what
happened. She just wanted Sakura and her mother to be happy. Worrying
about her all the time wouldn't help that. 
	Once again, Sakura was reminded of how what Tomoyo said and how she
felt were not always one and the same. Reaching out tentatively, the
Cardmistress's fingertips began to stroke Tomoyo's soft, dark hair.
It felt so nice and silken against her fingers, sliding under her
touch. Tomoyo rested her head on Sakura's shoulder in response, her
long, lavender hair cascading down Sakura's back. The brunette's
breath caught for a moment, but her fingers continued stroking her
friend's long, curly hair. Tomoyo felt so soft and warm against her
side. It was as if Tomoyo was melting into her. Soft curves met
Sakura's own, the two merging into one.
	Tomoyo breathed softly, her lavender eyes slipping shut. The night
had been a long, confusing one. She was glad to be with Sakura now,
away from the loneliness and confusion that had played out earlier.
Even if her love was an unrequited one, she was still happiest when
she was close to the girl she loved. She could lie there with
Sakura's fingers gently stroking her hair forever. Something that
felt like Sakura's nose pressed against her hair and her lips curved
in a soft smile. Sakura's warm breath tickled her through her hair.
Snuggling closer against Sakura's side, Tomoyo wished the night
wouldn't end. When the morning light spilt through the windows, this
dream would be forgotten without so much as a video to remember it
by. Syaoran would wake up and Sakura would remember that she loved
him and this would be nothing more than a moment that had slipped
away like a grain of sand. Why was it that the moments she loved most
with Sakura were always the ones she couldn't videotape? Fate was
cruel. Now if only... 
	Tomoyo's thoughts were quickly forgotten. A soft squeak escaped her
lips, a brief intake of air and a gasp of surpirse from her musical
voice. Sakura's strong, free hand had slid up over her stomach,
cupping one of the heiress's breasts through her nightgown. Sakura's
lips replaced her nose in Tomoyo's hair, kissing her head softly.
Confusion spun a web through the dark haired girl's mind, slowing her
thoughts down to a crawl. She usually understood Sakura better than
anyone, so the Mistress of the Cards' current behavior took her
completely by surprise. She was torn between her instincts to protect
Sakura's relationship with Syaoran and her own need for Sakura. Her
usual calm, collected nature in shambles, Tomoyo remained silent for
the moment, squirming slightly under her friend's questing hands. 
	Force of will pushed Sakura's embarrassment far away from her mind.
Tomoyo felt so wonderfu, so perfect, both against her and under her
fingertips. She squeezed Tomoyo's breast experimentally, marvelling
at how soft Tomoyo felt and how the skin melded to her palm. She
delighted in the gasp it ellicited from Tomoyo. Tomoyo's excited
gasps were so different from Syaoran's restrained groans. She loved
the way it sounded, how it let her know how much Tomoyo enjoyed what
she was doing to her. Sometimes so was so unsure of whether or not
she was doing the right thing with Syaoran. It was great to know how
Tomoyo felt about her ministrations. Her hand left Tomoyo's somewhat
larger chest and travelled back to the heiress's bare legs. Tomoyo
spread her legs invitingly making room for Sakura's hand. It caressed
up and down Tomoyo's right thigh, feeling the warmth under pale,
silky skin. 
	It hadn't been the alcohal, Sakura decided. Her heart sang at the
way Tomoyo shuddered when she suckled on her earlobe. She felt so...
alive. Like her body crackled with electricity. Tomoyo always made
her happy and being with her like this was no different. It was still
Tomoyo, but so much closer. So much warmer. So much more... hers. Her
kisses along Tomoyo's jawline caught the other girl's attention and
her best friend's lips quickly met her own. They were warm and wet
and delicious. They licked and kissed at her own passionately and
Sakura could do nothing but give into them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Yawning sleepily, Syaoran wandered through his girlfriend's
apparment half awake. It had been strange to wake up in a place that
was so... cute. He'd been disoriented to wake up to such a heavy dose
of pink around the appartment. He hoped Sakura could refrain from
decking out their home like that when they got married. He couldn't
imagine waking up to milky pink every morning. 
	The shower was going, but he couldn't figure out who it was.
Probably Sakura, since she hadn't been in bed when he'd woken up. He
considered going in to join her. It had been a long day the day
before and the flight had been exhausting. And a shower with Sakura
would certainly wake him up this morning. A small smile crossed his
lips as he made up his mind. It was nice not to be a country away
from Sakura for the moment. He certainly couldn't be with her like
that from and ocean away. 
	The bathroom door opened quietly under Syaoran's hand. Beautiful
humming came from the shower, a syren's song drawing him ever closer.
His amber eyes went to the shower as he filled up the doorway.
"Sakura..." His voice trailed off as Tomoyo turned to look at him.
Her pale body was wet and entirely naked. His mind vaguely made note
that her breasts were a bit larger than Sakura's. Her body was soft
and curvy and slender, not like Sakura's athlete's body. Stormy blue
eyes met his and the humming stopped immediately. "I.. uhh..."
Syaoran stammered, his face going a deep shade of crimson. 
	Oddly enough, Tomoyo seemed hardly embarrassed, simply covering
herself with her hands and offering a sympathetic smile. "Sakura's
not here," she explained helpfully. "She was in the living room when
I came in here." For a moment, she wondered if Syaoran had understood
her. He finally nodded and gave her a mumbled thanks. Wondering idly
what Syaoran would have done if it had been Sakura in the shower,
Tomoyo resumed her humming.
	Slamming the door quickly, Syaoran took a long moment to compose
himself. It took a while for the blood to drain from his face. Tomoyo
was certainly beautiful... He shook his head quickly to force the
idea out of his mind. Daidouji was the last person he wanted to be
thinking about. She'd always been that crazy friend of Sakura's.
Though she had always been helpful to him. If it hadn't been for her,
he never would have told Sakura how he felt about her. 
	Deciding it was best to pretend that hadn't happened, Syaoran
continued his search for Sakura. He made his way to the living room,
but Sakura was curiously missing. In her place sat Meiling, sitting
on the couch in front of the large television Tomoyo seemed so fond
of watching her videos on. "Meiling, have you seen Sakura?" he asked.
The murderous look Meiling gave him chilled his blood. He wondered if
perhaps he had said the wrong thing. 
	"She's in the kitchen. I think she's making breakfast or something.
I would've made something, but I don't know my way around the
kitchen." Her gaze went back to the television. Nothing was on, but
she seemed to be content to focus on it. Her thoughts were busy
elsewhere anyway. She was still ashamed of her actions the night
before. Crossing one leg on top of the other, she rested back on the
couch, trying to appear perfectly content. The affect on Syaoran was
more that he was afraid to bother her again. That worked just as well.
	Entering the kitchen, Syaoran finally found his girlfriend. She,
too, was humming to herself. Her apron hugged her body cutely. Flour
and batter left her looking like she walked through a small cooking
warzone, but the smell coming from the oven was delicious. Sakura
could be flighty, but when she put her mind to something, she could
do an incredible job. "Good morning, Syaoran," Sakura said happily,
kissing his cheek as he entered the kitchen. She went back to
whisking something in a bowl, keeping an eye on a timer near the
oven. 
	Deciding that dark haired girls were merely crazy this early in the
morning, Syaoran was glad to see that Sakura was her usual energetic
self. It was good to be away from all the Li Clan business and back
with the girl he loved. He wrapped his arms around her from behind,
holding her body close to his. Kissing the back of her neck under her
short hair, he was glad to feel her snuggling back against him. 
	Sakura was happy. The confusion that had seemed to consume her life
lately had, for now, abated. She knew how she felt now. She loved
Syaoran. She loved Tomoyo. The night before had helped her to
understand that. She had stayed up with Tomoyo late into the night.
They had held each other and talked until they had finally fallen
asleep in each others arms. Syaoran and Tomoyo both made her happy.
Her feelings were no longer such a mystery to her, making even her
own actions indecipherable. At some time, it would be necessary for
her to figure out what to do about this revelation. But for now, she
was simply happy. And very, very much in love.