Author’s note: Hello! ^-^ This is another Tomoyo & Sakura story (like a good deal of my fanfics) and it has some dark issues that it deals with. It isn’t exactly a lemon, but it does have some suggestive moments between two women. I don’t own these characters though I’d do almost anything to own Tomoyo-chan. ^-^ But then I’d have to own Sakura, too, just so she wouldn’t get lonely. ^-^;; Anyway, this fanfic comes from a discussion G.P. and I were having about the possibilities of Sakura’s vast powers after her life started to break down with her marriage to Syaoran and the consequent loss of Tomoyo as a major force in her life. The original idea was much darker, but the characters had their own idea where this story was going. ^-^;; I really hope you enjoy it. ^-^ I always love feedback, so if you have a chance when you’re done with the story, I would love to hear from you. ^-^ Don’t Close Your Eyes by Amazoness Duo amazonessduo@hotmail.com What was the start of all this? When had things started taking a turn for the worse? Sakura wasn’t quite sure anymore as she looked back on things. She had a difficult time remembering the last time she was truly happy. The wedding? The honeymoon? Sometime afterwards? The marriage had been dreamlike at first, the novelty of being a married couple making it all the more amazing. It had seemed wonderful. She could finally be with the man she loved always. But things hadn’t worked out quite the way she had planned. She had a hard time connecting with Syaoran. He had a difficult time with his own emotions. Her emotions seemed like a complete mystery to him, like another language. He saw her overemotional behavior often as a sign of weakness and couldn’t understand her pain. Nor could he truly take part in her joy. And so her heart had languished. If that had been the only thing, it might have been bearable. But as time went by, things became worse. Syaoran had always been a jealous person. And now that she was his bride, his possession, he was even worse about it, even to her friends and family. She was confused and hurt with how he treated them. She found that she could not come to him with her misery of being away from them and alone in Hong Kong. The only one she could really talk to about it was Tomoyo, and unfortunately she had heard less and less from the dark haired beauty as time went by until she stopped hearing from her altogether several months before. The phone call from Sonomi had startled her out of a peaceful sleep. At first she thought it was a phone call from Tomoyo but Sonomi’s pain wracked voice quickly shook that thought. She had never heard someone hurt that badly before as Sonomi tried to speak on the phone. A cold chill had run through Sakura’s body as she waited. It had to be about Tomoyo. There was nothing else it could be. And deep in her heart, she already knew what the phone call was about. Tomoyo had killed herself. Sonomi had found her in her little apartment with her wrists slashed. Her broken best friend had bled to death on her floor, all alone in the middle of the night. The simple suicide note left by Tomoyo was just like her, sweet and kind with hidden pain behind it. Apparently, she hadn’t intended for Sakura to ever find out about her suicide, mentioning in the letter how she had faded from Sakura’s life and that now she could leave without worrying about making the brunette sad. Sonomi had other ideas instead of keeping it from Sakura. Sakura had curled up and cried for what felt like an eternity. Tomoyo’s death had shattered Sakura’s heart into thousands of splinters, all lodged painfully in her soul. Syaoran could not mend her heart after that point. She was too far gone, living every day in an emotional agony. She was fairly sure that he didn’t love her anymore. He rarely spent time with her now and the luster of their early marriage was gone. And she had finally come to the realization that she hadn’t loved him in the first place. He was important to her, to be sure, but she had never fallen in love with him. Everyone had pushed her into a relationship with him. And she had gone along with it, believing that they all knew her heart better than she could. And she had been wrong. Pulling up her staff, Sakura closed her emerald green eyes. She didn’t know when things had started going wrong, but she didn’t care by this point. She was the most powerful magician in the world. With all of her magic, fixing things should be easy enough. There was a slight quiver in her heart of fear, but she pushed it away. It was too painful to keep living on this way. Tomoyo, Syaoran, her family, it had all slipped away from her. Clutching the staff tighter, she began to focus all of her magic. “I’m going to put all of this right,” she whispered. As she finished chanting, the world around her began to grow fuzzy, distorted. Colors began to bleed together, reality swirling around her. Faces and images, smells and sounds tormented Sakura as the world around her twisted and pulled. Her own body began following suit, her hand dropping the staff as her fingers began to dissipate in a swirl of light. It felt like she was being pulled apart, piece by piece. A shrill scream shattered the world around her and everything went dark. Some time later, Sakura woke up with a pounding headache. It was still pitch black, but it was now deathly silent. What had happened? Nothing was coming to mind. Everything was distant, like it had all been a dream that was quickly fading away. Perhaps that was all it had been. A horrible nightmare brought on by the stress of Tomoyo’s death and her own weakening relationship with her husband. A sad sigh escaped her lips as she shifted in bed. Good. She was home in bed. It had all been a bad dream after all. She could feel warm arms around her, naked skin against her own as they lay haphazardly under the sheets. She snuggled closer, holding on tightly herself. “Syaoran...” she whispered. She desperately wanted comfort right now, but at least she knew he was there, even if he was asleep. She buried her face against his shoulder and got a face full of long hair. It smelt of lilacs. That was strange. She couldn’t remember that scent before. Nor did she remember Syaoran’s hair being quite so long. Now that she thought about it, the body that was pressed firmly against her didn’t feel much like Syaoran’s either. Her bare leg moved up along the other figure’s long bare leg as Sakura’s confusion grew to a breaking point in her head. The body felt much softer, much more curvy than her husband’s. It also seemed smaller. Her leg finally stopped between the other figure’s legs. This wasn’t her husband at all. This was a woman. Sakura nearly fell out of bed after slipping away from the sleeping figure. What was going on here? How had she woken up naked in bed with another woman? None of this was making any sense. The person in bed should be her husband. If it had all just been a bad dream then she should have woken up to find herself at home in bed with him. Unless... It hadn’t been a nightmare at all, had it? Then her magic must have gone freakishly wrong to have her end up here. Noticing a discarded nightie on the floor, Sakura snagged it and quickly pulled it over her head. She dimly realized that it fit perfectly, as it if were her own even though she had never seen the garment before. Standing up silently in the dark room, Sakura waited for her eyes to adjust. The room she was in definitely wasn’t the one she shared with her husband. It looked elegantly decorated and beautifully done. Whoever had made up the room had done so with great care. There were long ethereal curtains around the bed that Sakura had slipped out of, obscuring the woman within. She was lying on her back, her long dark hair spread around her head on the pillow she was using. The sheet had been pulled mostly off of her from Sakura’s quick escape from the bed. She was obviously a very beautiful woman around Sakura’s age. But that still didn’t explain why they were sharing a bed. Especially in such an intimate way. Sakura’s cheeks flushed crimson as she covered herself with her arms self-consciously. What had her magic done? The woman on the bed stirred in her sleep, startling Sakura nearly to death before going back to her contented slumber. The Cardmistress let out a weary sigh of relief. Her curiosity began gnawing at her again. She had to know who the woman was and what was going on. Leaning forward, her fingers grasped onto the thin fabric of the bed curtains. Pulling them aside, Sakura squinted in the darkness, trying to make out the familiar face of the sleeping woman. Realization hit her with a sudden ferocity. “Tomoyo-chan!” she exclaimed in shock. The last she had seen of her was at the funeral. Her knees went weak at the sight, the body of her best friend stirring again after her sudden outburst. How could it be? Tomoyo was dead. She had seen her. There was no way... But she had used her magic to fix things. Had she saved Tomoyo? Yawning tiredly, the dark haired woman in question blinked up at the brunette who was leaning over her. A sleepy smile crossed her lips as she propped herself up on one elbow. She seemed unabashed about her nudity in front of Sakura. “Sakura’s up early. Did Bara- chan wake you up again? I still don’t know which of us she likes to wake up more often.” Sakura could do nothing but stare at the dark haired woman in front of her. This was all too much too quickly for her to understand. Tomoyo was back. And she was here for some reason. Or Sakura was there. One or the other. Had she called her Sakura and not Sakura- chan? She’d never heard that before. She barely heard what Tomoyo said. She only nodded weakly. Tomoyo’s hand reached out, stroking Sakura’s cheek lovingly. Sakura felt a dark blush creeping up on her cheeks as Tomoyo leaned up and kissed her. It was long and sweet, the pale woman taking her time to savor the kiss. It was very slow yet passionate, beginning to send a warm feeling through Sakura’s whole body. Wide eyed, she slumped back to her knees when the kiss finally finished, now even more confused than ever at what had happened. A giggle came from Tomoyo as she watched the bewildered woman on the floor near her. Sakura was always so cute, even when she was tired. “You should get back to sleep, Sakura. We have a big day tomorrow. If Bara-chan comes back in, I’ll take care of her, darling.” Taking Sakura by the hand gently, she pulled her back onto the bed next to her, snuggling close once more. She rested her head on Sakura’s chest, her long dark hair spilling across Sakura like a blanket. Sitting in shock, Sakura could do nothing but stare at the girl lying against her. Just what had she done with her magic? Things had changed quite a bit. And why had Tomoyo kissed her? Just what was going on? Sakura blushed deeply in the darkness, trying to sort past the knotted feelings inside of her. Tomoyo was back. That was the important thing. This time around she hadn’t killed herself. She was alive. And happy. Sakura wrapped her arms around Tomoyo protectively, prompting Tomoyo to snuggle closer. Sakura yawned, closing her eyes. After all of the stress and sudden shock, she passed out quickly. “Mama?” a tiny voice meandered through Sakura’s head. It sounded distant, miles away. But it slowly became closer, more insistent. She felt a tug on her nightgown from small hands. “Mama?” Blinking tiredly, Sakura sat up in bed. Closing her jade eyes, she stretched, yawning. Last night sure had been... “Mama?” a small voice interrupted her thoughts, irrefutably nearby. Sakura’s eyes shot open suddenly. It hadn’t been a dream. Again. She was really here. With Tomoyo. And... “Bara-chan?” she asked curiously. The little girl smiled, happy to have her attention. Just who was the young lady? Was she Sakura’s daughter? Or Tomoyo’s? She and Syaoran had discussed children on occasion, but it had never happened. Was this Tomoyo’s daughter then? She had Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes with dark brown hair down to her shoulders. “Mama, can you put these ribbons in my hair?” she asked sweetly, holding out a handful of green ribbons to Sakura. Sakura just stared at her for a minute, slowly taking the ribbons. Who’s daughter was she, then? This whole thing wasn’t making any sense. She decided to be more careful the next time she decided to use her magic to fix everything. A gentle giggle came from the other side of the room, drawing Sakura’s attention. Tomoyo was already dressed in a business outfit, her hair done up beautifully in braids. “You’re finally awake, Sakura. You must have been tired last night. I would have woken you up earlier, but I couldn’t bring myself to. You look so pretty when you sleep.” Looking back in the mirror as she finished adjusting her outfit, Tomoyo sighed dreamily. Sakura just sat in bed, clutching the sheets against her body. Her emerald eyes darted from the girl in front of her to Tomoyo and back. The little girl was still watching her patiently, her little hand holding the ribbons out to the dazed woman. Sakura found herself slowly reaching out for them, not quite aware of what she was doing. This pleased the younger girl who eagerly gave up the little fabric strips. The ribbons hung heavily in Sakura’s hand, practically demanding her full attentions. They were so much safer than contemplating what was going on. Beautiful lavender ribbons. They brought back memories of braiding Tomoyo’s hair, her fingers lost in Tomoyo’s lavender tresses. She didn’t notice the curious look that Bara was giving her, nostalgia replacing her confusion for the time being. The last she had seen of Tomoyo was at the funeral. It had been the single most painful event in her life. Nothing could have possibly prepared her for it. She still woke up crying at night, but there was no comfort in waking up. The nightmare had been very real. But this time, it was only a nightmare. Tomoyo was alive and well. She had the same bright, gorgeous smile that Sakura remembered her wearing so beautifully. She felt like she had finally been let out of a sealed coffin. Poisonous thoughts that had plagued her nearly every day since the dark haired woman’s suicide had left her feelings so tired and weak, always on the verge of collapse. But now she couldn’t even remember all of them, as if they had been nothing more than a dream. And for all intents and purposes, they were. She was the only one who could remember what had happened before she had fixed things. She still wasn’t sure exactly what she had fixed, but she was content in the knowledge that Tomoyo was still alive and well. She had needed her best friend terribly over the past few months and going on without her had been almost impossible. No, that wasn’t true. She had needed Tomoyo for much longer than the past few months. The past few years of her marriage. No, that wasn’t right either. She had needed her ever since she left for Hong Kong. Ever since she left Tomoyo. Tilting Sakura’s chin, Tomoyo gave her a petal soft kiss, savoring the wondrous feel of Sakura’s lips against her own. Even after all the years they had been together, she never got tired of the simple joys of living with the brunette. Her lips lingered on Sakura’s for a long moment, the warmth in her heart wrapping around her like a blanket. Her lithe fingers delicately stroked the bottom of Sakura’s chin as she finally pulled away, smiling happily as she did. “I’m going to check on breakfast. Don’t take too long, you two.” Sakura watched Tomoyo’s retreating form with wide eyes, her fingers lightly held against her lips. She was more awake now and the shock had had time to set in so she couldn’t just push it aside the way she had the night before. No, that wasn’t entirely the case. She was still most definitely shocked. But the idea of pushing this off was impossible. She was dense, but she wasn’t blind. “Mama?” Bara’s voice reached out again, taking a hold of Sakura’s thoughts and leading her back to the ribbons in her hand. “Oh... Hai, let me fix these for you,” Sakura said after a moment’s hesitation. Her voice came out surprisingly better than she would have thought, given the circumstances. While her fingers were busy with the ribbons in the little girl’s hair, her mind was still focussed a minute earlier on the kiss. It had felt so natural, so warm and loving. It was with some shock that she realized exactly what it was. The kiss of a couple that has had quite some time to grow completely comfortable with the other. Granted, Tomoyo kissed rather differently from Syaoran, more gentle and slow, but the basis was still there. The years were apparent in the kiss. Her shaking hands settled in her lap. Her eyes slowly began to scan the room. In the morning light it was much easier to see the room’s design. The room was very neat, everything seeming to accentuate everything else like a well designed costume. It was definitely Tomoyo’s doing. But at the same time, there were tell tale signs that she shared the room. Little stuffed animals at odd places, trinkets on the dresser, cluttered yet organized chaos lurking around the room. And most importantly, a picture of the two of them by the bedside, both in wedding gowns, along with numerous other pictures of the happy couple. Bara showed up in quite a few of them as well. Apparently Tomoyo still did an excellent job of documenting everything for posterity. And why wouldn’t she? If they were married then she had even more reason to be making her memorial videos and documenting Sakura’s life. Her loving and devoted wife. “Hoe...” Sakura slumped back on the bed, by now too lost in thought to notice the little girl mentioning that breakfast is probably ready or that she had already walked out the bedroom door. Just what had she changed? She was fairly certain that it was one specific thing, but how could it have had such drastic affects? “Sakura?” Tomoyo asked softly, startling Sakura from her thoughts. The pale woman was standing at their bedside. She had been watching the brunette for a minute or two now, but Sakura hadn’t noticed her arrival. Sakura was like a book to Tomoyo. Her favorite book, of course. Her feelings always came across perfectly, even when Sakura didn’t quite understand them. The years they had spent together had only made it easier to tell what Sakura was feeling. She could tell that Sakura was having trouble with something but she wasn’t sure if she should say anything yet. Sometimes offering a subtle hand made much more of a difference than a strong grasp. She was there for Sakura and her wife knew that. If Sakura didn’t want to say anything, then that was all right. Though it usually didn’t take long before Sakura told her whatever was on her mind. Sitting down next to the Cardmistress, Tomoyo placed her hand atop her wife’s, squeezing gently. “Are you all right?” Sakura couldn’t answer for a moment. All she could do was look at the dark haired woman, listening to her gentle voice, transfixed by her stormy blue eyes. Her free hand came up slowly of it’s own volition, the tips of her fingers tracing Tomoyo’s silken skin. Her fingers brushed through Tomoyo’s soft hair as they continued up along her cheek. Sakura’s heart had nearly stopped in her chest. “Tomoyo- chan!!” Sakura threw her arms around Tomoyo, holding onto her as tightly as she could, her body shaking as she buried her head in the crook of the dark haired woman’s neck. The reality of the situation hadn’t quite dawned on her until that moment. Until then, she had still been confused, lost in the situation presented before her. But now the how and what hardly mattered to her. Now that she was surrounded in Tomoyo’s presence, her soft, gentle touch, her warm skin, her intoxicating scent, it was all that mattered. “You’re really here... Oh, Tomoyo-chan!” Tears that Sakura thought she could no longer shed spilt down her cheeks, sliding down Tomoyo’s shoulder. Coherent thought was beyond her. There was merely a sea of emotions and she was Alice, riding through it all in a tiny jar, tossing and turning in the waves. She could feel Tomoyo’s hand lightly rubbing her back, the pale woman’s soft voice whispering reassurances in her ear. She cried even harder, clutching onto Tomoyo with all of her strength. “I won’t let you go again, Tomoyo-chan... I won’t...” she sobbed weakly. “I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere without you, Sakura,” Tomoyo whispered comfortingly. She gently brushed Sakura’s hair from her damp eyes with her free hand, still stroking Sakura’s back with the other. What had started as a small concern in her mind had suddenly turned into a blaring alarm. Something was definitely wrong. A nightmare, perhaps? No, Sakura usually woke her up when she had nightmares, wanting her to tell her it would be all right. Whatever this was, it was affecting Sakura immensely. The brunette was acting as if she had died. The possibility of magic was open, but aside from the magician’s library she had insisted on adding to the house for Sakura and the occasions that Sakura would use magic when it was just the two of them, the Cardmistress hadn’t had to deal with any real magical crisis for years. But now wasn’t the time to pursue it. Right now she just wanted to take away Sakura’s pain. The cause could wait until later. Pulling away ever so slightly, Tomoyo leaned down and began to kiss away Sakura’s salty tears one at a time, her hands resting on the brunette’s shoulders. Sakura could only look back at her with watery jade eyes that tugged at Tomoyo’s heart. ‘Oh, Sakura- chan... I’m so sorry. You should never have to look out at the world with such sad eyes. I’ll do anything to make that pain go away.’ Sakura sniffled as Tomoyo kept kissing away the last of her tears. Her body still shook though she had finally quit crying. She watched Tomoyo the entire time, her eyes following the sweet motions and the concerned yet reassuring look on the dark haired woman’s face. Tomoyo’s soft lips remained on her skin for a few seconds at a time, lingering on each little tear drop before miraculously whisking it away and moving to the next. Each kiss soothed Sakura’s weary mind, like bandages for her soul. It was nice. Warm. Loving. The tumultuous sea of emotion that had risen up around her like a tsunami slowly began to calm into a peaceful, serene ocean with Tomoyo at it’s center. She had reached out for her, pulling her away from the shipwreck she had found herself lost in. Just like Tomoyo always had. Her kisses continued across Sakura’s warm cheeks, trailing the last of her tears. Sakura moved her head to the side, her eyes finally closing. Her lips met Tomoyo’s, Sakura’s last tear dripping past her chin, forgotten. Sakura felt her whole body still as she kissed her best friend. She didn’t know quite why. Tomoyo’s kisses had been coursing through her bit by bit. She wanted to feel them... Needed to feel them, to know that they were there. That Tomoyo was alive and well. In her arms. She kissed Tomoyo softly at first, but found herself eagerly complying as Tomoyo began to kiss her more passionately. She couldn’t remember what was the dream anymore. She only knew this moment. There was so much she wanted to tell Tomoyo but had never had the chance to. And now that she was, Sakura found herself in tears even thinking about all the things she wanted to say. But this felt like the perfect way to get across all of the nuances in her heart. Finding out that they were married had come as a huge shock to Sakura. It had never crossed her mind before that such a thing would have ever been possible. But now it didn’t seem to matter. Her lips parted slightly and for a brief moment she felt Tomoyo’s tongue dancing with her own. The rest of the ice in her heart melted. It was delightfully sensuous, insanely slow. The dark haired girl kept drawing out the moment, kissing Sakura with a gentle intensity that shook off the painful bonds that had shackled Sakura’s heart. Relaxing into the kiss, Tomoyo allowed herself to stop worrying herself to death for the time being. Yes, this was certainly her beloved Sakura. Whatever the problem was, she would help the brunette with it if it reared up again. For now, she wanted to bathe her in the love that filled her heart near bursting. Sakura’s kiss had been hesitant at first, unsure of herself. But it had quickly grown to the wonderful breathless kisses that had marked some of their most treasured moments together. Sakura’s arms slowly wrapped around her neck as they continued kissing. Tomoyo leaned into Sakura, enjoying the warm feeling of their bodies pressed together. For the dark haired woman, kissing Sakura, or just being with Sakura for that matter, was like being out in a shower of Sakura petals, each one a piece of her beloved’s heart raining down about her. It was the purest joy, the deepest happiness. And it only fed her limitless love for the woman in her arms. “I love you,” Tomoyo whispered. “With all my heart.” “I love you, too, Tomoyo-cha... Tomoyo.” Sakura smiled softly. It was a small, genuine smile. Yes, that other place, that dark place must have been a dream. A nightmare. It was all fading as quickly as one. How could she have gotten so worked up over a bad dream like that? Tomoyo was alive. Tomoyo was hers. They had a beautiful daughter and a wonderful life together. There was no reason to indulge in nightmares any longer. “I love you, too.”