Dear Sakura by Amazoness Duo and G.P. amazonessduo@hotmail.com pearsong1954@yahoo.com “It’s beautiful, Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s melodious voice said as they both paused in front of the Jumbo restaurant. Her words were an understatement to the surreal view of the floating restaurant ahead of the two women. Water splashed around it as the many lights played across Tomoyo’s pale skin. “Hoe...” The sight before them was a pleasant surprise to Sakura as well. She had been to a number of restaurants with Syaoran when they had first come to Hong Kong, but this hadn’t been one of them. Which was part of her decision to take Tomoyo to it now that it was her last night in Hong Kong. That thought lay over her soul like a heavy cloak, it’s weight almost unbearable. But she tried to force it off, wanting to enjoy what little time they had left. She had wanted to take Tomoyo out for dinner, just the two of them. A chance to be alone together one last time. Now she was glad for her decision. The restaurant looked majestic with the waves crashing around it. Watching her spirited friend, Tomoyo smiled happily to herself. For all of it’s splendor, the restaurant ahead of them was nothing in comparison to Sakura. She was simply gorgeous in the beautiful blue Chinese dress she was wearing. Her soft brunette hair framed her pretty face perfectly, her expression still one of surprise. Squeezing Sakura’s hand lightly, her eyes sparkled when she saw Sakura turn to her. This was wonderful, standing with Sakura together while they waited to be seated at a restaurant as if they were on some sort of magical date. Only being able to have the whole thing on videotape could make it any better. Or perhaps if it were a real date... But Tomoyo was pleasantly thrilled just to be there with Sakura on something that came close enough to a date for her liking. Sakura found herself blushing slightly at the way Tomoyo was looking at her. It was the same warm and loving expression that Tomoyo had always given her when she had the dark haired woman’s full attention. Which was more often than not. She averted her gaze after a few seconds, once again busying herself with the beautiful establishment in front of them. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if she kept looking into those stormy blue eyes. They were almost hypnotic. “Well, we better get going before they decide to give away our seats.” Tomoyo agreed enthusiastically and the two finally entered the restaurant. True to its gorgeous exterior, the inside was just as exquisite. And completely packed. For a while, Sakura worried that even with her reservations she wouldn’t be able to get a table. But the Li family was very important in Hong Kong, and Sakura Li was treated no differently. Before too long, she and her dark haired best friend had been seated and their orders taken. “Are you sure that’s all you want, Tomoyo-chan? You can get more if you want,” Sakura said upon realizing how little the pale woman had ordered. Then again, Tomoyo had never eaten a considerable amount, her slim figure almost seeming frail. Tomoyo smiled politely and shook her head, her beautiful lavender tresses swaying behind her. “No, I’m fine, Sakura-chan. I think I’m still full from the banquet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much food in one place before. Poor Kero-chan must have been very disappointed not to be invited.” Both women giggled softly, the tension fading away somewhat. This was Tomoyo’s last night in Hong Kong and though neither woman had spoken it directly, it was lingering unsaid between the two of them. This was their last chance together, and Tomoyo still hadn’t decided how she should react to it. Her initial decision about the whole trip had been to hide her feelings for Sakura, to tone down her endless affection for the brunette in fear that it would be unwelcome with her marriage. But Sakura had baffled her upon her arrival. It was like returning to a loved one after years of absence. She could imagine it was similar to when Syaoran had returned to Sakura. She had greeted Tomoyo with such warmth and affection, staying nearby during the trip, her love almost seeming to echo Tomoyo’s own. It was eerie and not at all what she had expected, but it had grasped onto her heart quickly and wouldn’t let go. Sakura had always been very loving with her, but this went beyond all of her own expectations. It was almost as if Sakura’s love mirrored her own. It rattled the locked cage of her heart, drawing her love and adoration out from behind the masks she had erected. Hiding her love from Sakura was impossible, she knew that now. It was all she could do to keep from blatantly telling Sakura of her feelings, something she knew would certainly be disastrous. If Sakura knew how she felt, it would cause endless turmoil for her marriage and their friendship. She simply couldn’t allow that. Sakura’s happiness meant everything to her. But still, it was almost impossible to deny the feelings she was getting from the brunette, the way she had kissed back, the way she was acting. When was the last time she had seen Sakura acting like this? With Yukito? No, this didn’t have the same trappings of a crush that her behavior with Yukito had indicated to Tomoyo early on. Which led up to some very confusing conclusions for the dark haired designer. She was having a much harder time telling herself that there was nothing there. Looking into Sakura’s eyes, seeing those bright emerald orbs looking back into hers, she could see something that both thrilled and frightened her. There was something there that was growing inside Sakura. Just what it was, Tomoyo was still left a little unsure. Her mind kept returning to the kiss and moments before when Sakura had been holding her. The one thing Tomoyo could be sure of was that she would soon begin to disrupt Sakura’s life if she allowed these feelings of the Cardmistress’s to continue. Sakura had a husband, a new life in Hong Kong. Tomoyo was an anchor tying her down to the past. Perhaps now more than ever. She had wanted to come to Hong Kong as a way to help Sakura let go of the past, but it seemed that she was making it worse. It was painful being so near Sakura, loving her so completely while knowing that she was still married to her true love. So close, yet so far. Look, but don’t touch. It felt as if she were an infinite distance away from Sakura at times when they were only feet apart. But her love could travel that distance. Even if Sakura couldn’t see it. Was Syaoran really Sakura’s true love? The dark haired woman had been so intent on finding the person that could make Sakura happy that she had truly believed it was Syaoran. Now she wasn’t so sure. After Ieran’s words and her time spent with Sakura, she couldn’t be so certain that he was anymore. But it was too late for any of that. He had to be the one for Sakura. He had to. And Tomoyo could do nothing but disrupt that, tearing apart Sakura’s happiness by staying with her. That was why she had decided late the night before, through many tears and much heartache, that this was goodbye. Not that she could come out and tell Sakura that, of course. Or that she would even act on it all at once. No, this was their last time together. She would never return to Hong Kong after this trip. She was now more sure than ever that the only way to keep Sakura truly happy was to fade out of her life. Staying would be too painful for the brunette as her feelings became more confusing and as Tomoyo remained an ever present reminder of her past. She had to admit that part of her reasoning was that she couldn’t handle it herself. After being so close to Sakura, feeling her heart in a new way and sharing her first kiss with her best friend, it was too painful to remain in her life knowing that she was no longer necessary to it. So she would fade away. Slowly at first, until she could slip out of Sakura’s life. By then she would be nothing more than a memory in Sakura’s happy life. A memory that would not be missed. Smiling her sweet, happy smile that she always managed to keep up for Sakura's sake, she managed to smile a little brighter at the brunette. She wanted to leave on a happy note. A glorious note. One that would leave Sakura with good memories of her friend’s visit. So she would not let her pained feelings inside get a foothold again like she had the night of the kiss. No, this time she would be all smiles for Sakura. She would be everything for Sakura. Because she loved her. Returning Tomoyo’s smile, Sakura brushed back a lock of hair from her eyes. The restaurant was gorgeous. She must have done more sightseeing in her time during Tomoyo’s visit than she had during her entire time prior in Hong Kong. Oh, the wonderful things she had seen! It was truly a beautiful city. But the best part had been that she had been able to see it with her best friend. Such things were always infinitely more amazing when you could experience them with someone important to you. “It was a lot of fun, Tomoyo-chan. Thank you for everything." The light on Tomoyo almost made her look like a part of the surreal design of the restaurant, adding to its beauty. Tomoyo looked a little surprised, something she rarely was. Shaking her head, she quickly came back to the present, tilting her head to the side. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, Sakura-chan. I had a lovely time. I always have fun when I’m with Sakura-chan. And anything is a great excuse to spend more time with you. I just like to be around you.” They were words that Sakura had heard thousands of times before by this very same woman, but all the same they brought an embarrassed blush to the brunette’s cheeks. Most likely, she thought, because she knew they were absolutely true on Tomoyo’s behalf. The tone in her soft, gentle voice sent a trill through Sakura’s mind. There was so much underlying it, so much that she never truly understood yet always made her happy to hear. But what caught her attention was something else entirely. Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes once again looked frozen, out of place with the beautiful smile on her face. It was as if those shining windows had been boarded up to hide something deep inside. Sakura shook her head. It must be her mind playing tricks on her. Now that Tomoyo was leaving, she felt a deep well of sadness inside. She didn’t want Tomoyo to leave. Her presence had made the past few days some of the happiest in Sakura’s life. But knowing that it was all coming to an end made it almost impossible to enjoy what little time they had left together. She didn’t know what to do. The Cardmistress felt so lost and alone now that Tomoyo would be going back to Tomoeda. She needed Tomoyo. She needed to see her smiling face, to hear her loving voice, to feel her gentle embrace, to feel those soft lips... Sakura shook her head, trying to concentrate. She wanted Tomoyo to stay, to know that her best friend would always be there. But she had her own life back home. Like she had said, they had gone down different roads now. This was merely a brief detour. The waitress finally arrived with their food, interrupting both women from their thoughts. “It looks delicious, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo took a small bite of her meal before looking back to Sakura. “Oishi,” she said, smiling at the brunette. Despite all of Hong Kong’s elegance and beauty, Sakura still stood out amongst all of it for Tomoyo. It all paled in comparison to the young Japanese bride that Tomoyo was lucky enough to have the pleasure of calling her best friend. Even sitting across from her with a slightly quizzical look as she tasted a certain cuisine for the first time, she was utterly gorgeous. Tomoyo smiled brighter as she watched Sakura take a sip of her meal. “You can have some of mine if you’d like, Sakura-chan,” the dark haired girl offered. Sakura smiled happily at the offer. “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan! Next time I’ll be a little more careful about what I order. It sounded like a good thing.” Her smile turned sheepish as she looked back at her own meal before meeting gazes with Tomoyo again. To her surprise, Tomoyo brought her own chopsticks up to Sakura’s mouth. The brunette blinked for a second before opening her mouth. With delicate precision, Tomoyo fed her the bite of food. “Sakura-chan looks so cute when she’s being fed,” Tomoyo said simply as she took another bite up to Sakura’s mouth. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she watched the Cardmistress intently, earlier thoughts lost in her current state of bliss that being near Sakura always managed to affect her with. Sakura’s blush faded slowly as she continued to eat from Tomoyo’s chopsticks. The two sat in relative silence, but there wasn’t anything awkward about it. It was pleasant and warm, drowning out the noise that all the other patrons were making. Before long, Tomoyo had fed Sakura all of her plate. Sitting back, Sakura finally realized that she had been leaning forward the entire time. No doubt for Tomoyo to feed her. She felt giddy and bubbly, excited and content all at once. This was wonderful, being here with Tomoyo, spending their time together this way. It felt like they had never been apart. Like it had always been this way, the two of them. Tomoyo had always been there for her, but it felt nice to be alone with her, to be able to concentrate solely on the toy designer for once. On the cute little things she did and said. On the feelings that coursed through her at just being there with her. It was nice to be going out to dinner with her. It was almost like her dates with Syaoran. But it was so different in many aspects. There wasn’t that embarrassing uneasiness that usually went along with her dates or the unsteady silence as she tried to come up with what to say. It just didn’t matter. She didn’t have to say anything at all and it was perfectly all right. Tomoyo’s eyes seemed to be able to read her perfectly. It was a wonderful sensation. And after all of Tomoyo’s trip, it was difficult to think of anything to say that didn’t have to do with their parting soon. So it was a blessing to be able to just cherish their time together. The two women chatted pleasantly about certain things, none of any great significance. It was enough to know that the other was there. After a brief silence, Sakura looked down, struggling to put her feelings into words. Being with Tomoyo had such a tremendous affect on her, as she had recently been aware of, but the flurry of emotions was difficult to pin down. She knew they were of love. A strong and powerful love that swept her off her feet and nearly pulled her along in the cyclone of her feelings. But such a love for her best friend seemed so strange, that it would be so much more encompassing than even her love for her husband. It left her dizzy in its wake, unsure of what to say to the beautiful lavender haired woman. The love that she experienced from Tomoyo felt equally as powerful, though it seemed to have much more direction than Sakura’s own confused feelings. It was all encompassing yet direct at the same time, never leaving her whenever Tomoyo was present. In all that the pale woman did, Sakura could feel that same love that Tomoyo so delicately took care of. Her body shuddered lightly at even the feel of Tomoyo’s hand encompassing her own on the table, the fingers slowly entwining with her own. “Tomoyo-chan,” she began, nervously. “When I’m with you, I... Sometimes I feel like my heart’s pounding in my chest and I feel breathless like I’ve been running for miles even though I’ve been standing still. I feel like... Like there’s magic in the air, like it’s in everything that you touch. I feel so happy when we’re together. Sometimes I feel dizzy, like it’s too much. But then I know that you’ll catch me if I fall. So I’m never afraid. Even when it feels like my heart will burst from too much inside, it just seems to grow and grow. I don’t know how to talk to Syaoran-chan about any of this. But I guess that’s okay. I’ve heard you say things like this before and I think I’m starting to understand them. Not all of it, but some. I just... I’m really glad you’re here.” Tomoyo watched Sakura for a long moment, playing her words over and over again in her head. Sakura almost looked like a scared puppy, unsure of how Tomoyo would react. Tomoyo was still a little surprised herself. The brunette’s words were so earnest, so heartfelt, that Tomoyo was having difficulty writing off the feelings Sakura had expressed. A soft smile crossed her lips. Bringing Sakura’s hand up, she kissed it softly, delicately. “Sakura-chan, you always make me feel very special. You really don’t know how much happiness you have given me over the years. Hearing you say that makes me very glad for the time we’ve been able to spend together. You’re very important to me, Sakura-chan. Hearing what’s in your precious heart is a thrill to me because I’ve always wanted to know that it was beating happily. It sounds like Sakura-chan’s heart is very much like mine.” “But, Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want your heart to burst from all of that love locked up inside of you. Please tell me who has the key. I know that your love for your special someone must be very strong. I don’t know how you can handle it,” Sakura shook her head sadly, her hand still holding onto Tomoyo’s as their eyes met from across the table. Tomoyo just smiled, perhaps a little sadly. Slowly standing up, she brought Sakura up with her. Dinner was done and there was no reason to stay. “Sometimes I wonder if the key is still out there, Sakura- chan. Or maybe it’s already been lost. But it doesn’t matter. The feelings inside of you are happy, aren’t they, Sakura-chan? So are mine. Because when I close my eyes, my special someone is smiling. And it is the most beautiful, shining smile that I have ever seen.” Her eyes never left Sakura as she stood close to the Cardmistress, their hands held. Yes, Sakura’s smile was like the gentle touch of angels. It would forever soothe her aching heart as long as she knew it was there. Sakura sighed, but she quickly brightened visibly. “Would you like to dance, Tomoyo-chan? I think Fanren-chan mentioned a place nearby before we left. I remember you said that you liked to dance, even if you haven’t in a long time. And I know you can’t with your special person, but I’d still be happy to dance with you.” A soft giggle came from Tomoyo as she nodded. “I would love to dance with you, Sakura-chan. More than anything. I can’t think of a better way to end the night.” With that, the two made their way quickly out of the restaurant towards a night of dancing. The two woman glided across the slightly crowded floor to romantically slow music playing all around them. Tomoyo was currently leading the pair as they began a new dance. Her long, lavender hair swayed around her, moving along with Tomoyo’s own elegant movements. The rest of the dancers hardly seemed to exist for the two friends. How long they had been there remained a mystery, but it didn’t matter. Acknowledging the time would be a step closer to ending the night, and neither was in any hurry for that. So instead they continued to dance, entangled in the almost hypnotic quality the music had as it kept them dancing together. Sakura was not an accomplished dancer by any means, but she had certainly enjoyed whatever chances she had to do so, whether that be with Flower or with her husband. But never had she caught herself enjoying it as much as she did now, Tomoyo’s fluid grace seeming to pull her in further and further. Sakura was much more athletic, but Tomoyo still had a certain elegance to her that always seemed to shine through in such things, whether it be art or singing or even editing videotape. And like everything else, Sakura found herself being dragged along by Tomoyo’s sweet albeit persistent nature. She gave herself up to it, letting it lead where it would. She followed along as Tomoyo continued to slow dance with her, wishing that the song would continue on for just one more minute. That was all she wanted. Just another minute. Once again Tomoyo found herself wishing she had brought her camcorder along for the night’s activities. This was perfect, dancing along with Sakura as the night marched inexorably forward. She had ignored any semblance of a clock, much happier with the seemingly eternal moment they seemed trapped in together. The feel of Sakura near her would linger in her mind long after it was gone, she knew. Sakura’s sweet scent, the way she felt through the soft fabric of her dress, the way her eyes sparkled in the dim light while they danced, it would all remain with her. But if only she could have it on videotape! Even asking a complete stranger to videotape the two of them sounded perfectly reasonable at the moment. Then she could watch this tape of their date over and over again when she returned home. Well, their almost date, anyway. But it was close enough. It certainly felt more than romantic enough to the lavender haired girl at any rate, who shifted to let Sakura lead as the next song began. If she could have one wish, it would be to stop time here, to let this moment stretch out for an eternity. She could think of no better way to spend it than in Sakura’s arms, dancing happily with her. Well, perhaps she could think of several others, but they would require far more than a simple wish. For the time being, Tomoyo would be quite content if the music would just roll on forever, allowing her all of that time to be with her beloved. She enjoyed the dancing immensely. It afforded her the chance to not think about anything. Her thoughts were far from the forefront of her mind, leaving only her feelings and Sakura to take up her full attention. There were no words or questions spinning through her mind now. It was only love and joy and the rhythmic moves of dancing as she and Sakura carried on. How long had they been dancing? Sakura had no idea anymore. Nor did she care. The night had been wonderful. Dancing had been a sweet icing on the cake. The Cardmistress smiled to herself as Tomoyo rested her head on her shoulder, their bodies swaying lightly together to the music. Bringing her hand up, Sakura’s fingers lightly brushed through the silken strands, feeling them slip between her fingers. Tomoyo sighed softly against her. It was a happy, contented sound. Sakura’s heart swelled to hear it and she held on tighter to Tomoyo, still moving lightly as the music continued playing. After a brief moment’s hesitation, Sakura brushed some of the dark hair away from one of Tomoyo’s ears. “Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want you to be lonely. You’re so pretty, and kind, and gentle, and loving. You just can’t be alone. I love you too much to see you alone.” “I’m not lonely when I’m with you,” Tomoyo replied softly, snuggling closer against Sakura, her head shifting on the brunette’s shoulder. “When I’m with you, nothing else seems to matter. I’m just so happy that I can be with Sakura-chan that everything else fades into the background. I’m very pleased that you think of me so highly. Hearing you say things like that makes my heart beat faster. I love you, Sakura-chan,” she whispered at last, closing her eyes. Today had been an emotional rollercoaster. No, the entire trip had been. But little moments like this revitalized her, reminding her in a gentle voice that this was exactly why she loved Sakura. “I love you, too, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura whispered in return, holding onto Tomoyo tightly. She didn’t want to let her go. She never wanted to let her go. Never again. It didn’t feel right to be without her. She needed Tomoyo. This feeling, this peaceful feeling that encompassed her body and soul was missing whenever Tomoyo was gone. Her heart begged for the toy designer to stay, but she dared not ask that of her. She couldn’t. Tomoyo giggled again, her voice softly muffled against Sakura’s shoulder. Her dark hair was spilt over Sakura and herself now, her body leaning against Sakura’s. ‘Oh, how I wish that were true. I would give anything to know that with all certainty. I would live my entire life to make you happy, Sakura-chan. I love you so much,’ she thought to herself. Aloud, she said, “I still think my love and your love are different things, Sakura-chan.” This time she left off the offer to explain when she was older. No, there would be no explanation, she had decided. It would only make things more difficult for Sakura. And for herself. Her love was best kept hidden. Even if it did hurt terribly sometimes. But that’s why she would always treasure moments like these. “How can you be sure?” Sakura asked, her voice questioning. She could remember Tomoyo saying that before, but for some reason it was troubling her. Why would their love be any different? Why wouldn’t it be the same? She almost felt surrounded by the feelings in her heart, all of them attached like strings to the woman in her arms. “I’m not so sure sometimes,” Tomoyo whispered back quietly. Her head slowly pulled off of Sakura’s shoulder, her stormy blue eyes shimmering as they met Sakura’s jade orbs. Her fingers gently cupped Sakura’s chin as a phantom of a smile played across her lips. Her whole body ached for the feel of those lips just one more time. For that passionate embrace, for the flood of emotions she had received from Sakura. But her fingers slowly slipped away, falling back to her side. Her head rested once again on Sakura’s shoulder. No, if she was going to fade away, then that memory would be what would burn in her heart forevermore. She would savor that one kiss always. She closed her eyes once more and lost herself in Sakura’s warm embrace. Sakura held her gently, lovingly. She still didn’t understand what the dark haired woman had meant by all that, but right now she didn’t feel like asking her. She just wanted to hold her until the morning came. Maybe it never would. Maybe if she held on tight enough, Tomoyo would never have to leave her side again. After Tomoyo’s visit, returning to life without the gentle presence of the toy designer was utterly inconceivable. Sakura couldn’t imagine life without her, not knowing she was right there, not being able to be with her. Now that she had seen Tomoyo again, she knew what it was that had been missing since she had moved to Hong Kong. Not her family or friends, although she missed them dearly. But Tomoyo herself. The feelings inside her that expanded in joy when they were together, that felt so cold and alone when they were apart, told her this much. Even if she couldn’t quite name it, she knew it to be true. A feeling welled up in Sakura’s anxious heart that she could only vaguely remember feeling quite some time ago. It was a devastating mix of pain, fear, abandonment, and loss all bundled up inside of her. These weren’t the feelings she’d had when Syaoran had left, though she had missed him terribly. These were the feelings she could only remember as if from a dream when her mother had been taken away from her. She had only been three years old at the time, still a young child. But the feelings were as potent as the day she had found out what had happened to her mother. It tore at her heart with a vicious ferocity, like some caged beast that had finally escaped. Sharp claws raked at her soul as tears begin to drip down her cheeks. She held onto Tomoyo tighter, her body shaking ever so slightly. Why was she feeling this way? It wasn’t like Tomoyo was going away for good. She would see her again. They would still write letters and talk on the phone. They would still be best friends forever. But some of what Tomoyo said had been haunting her, refusing to completely leave. Thoughts of an aching void in her life where Tomoyo had once been were teasing her mind. She didn’t want the morning to come. It would come and snatch Tomoyo away from her like the talons of some ancient dragon. And she would be left alone. Yes, she would have her prince. But was that enough? She felt like her heart was being torn asunder in her chest. Choked sobs escaped her lips as she grasped desperately onto her pale friend. A warm tear dropped down onto Tomoyo’s neck, startling her out of the daze she had fallen into. Holding onto Sakura, swaying in the music had brought time to a standstill. There was no tomorrow. There was no yesterday. There was only now. A bright spot in her life that she would forever hold dear the same as she held onto Sakura at that very moment. But Sakura’s shaky sobs quickly brought her back to the slightly crowded dance floor. She was instantly concerned, but part of her knew the problem already. This was it. This was their farewell. Sakura didn’t know it, but this was the last time they would ever see each other. Sakura was a very emotional woman. Parting must be hell for her. Tomoyo knew how painful it was. She couldn’t bear the thought of being away from Sakura anymore than she could quit breathing. She needed Sakura. All of her. She was the lifeblood of Tomoyo’s life. But at the same time, she knew that she had to go. Oh, she could always pack up and move to Hong Kong. Her mother wouldn’t be happy about it, but it would be easy enough. She could stay nearby and visit Sakura every day. But then she would be dangerously close to throwing away all that she had worked for to make Sakura happy. That would risk damaging her marriage to Syaoran if Tomoyo got too involved and also could ruin their friendship if things progressed any further than they already had. She couldn’t risk Sakura’s happiness for her own selfishness. And she also knew that being so close to Sakura, watching her from such a short distance, her heart pounding every second for her, it would kill her. Just as surely as any knife’s blade. That pain would be even worse than never seeing Sakura again. At least if she left, she knew that Sakura’s happiness would be safe and that she would always have her memories. She could live with that. She had to. But staying would be a form of exquisite torture, slowly tugging and battering the cage in her heart. “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered softly, her lithe fingers stroking the other woman’s back through the thin fabric of her dress. Her head lifted off of Sakura’s shoulder, her eyes meeting Sakura’s as she stood pressed against the Cardmistress. Gentle fingers went up over Sakura’s shoulders, up her neck, and along her cheeks, wiping away Sakura’s warm tears. Tomoyo’s kind, loving gaze penetrated Sakura’s emerald green eyes as she continued to wipe her tears away. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. No matter how far apart we are, I’ll always be with you. My heart will always be tied to yours.” The last of her strength crumbling away from her, Sakura clutched onto Tomoyo, sobbing quietly against her. Her heart cried out to her, those feelings returning stronger, more urgent, but she couldn’t make them out. She didn’t understand. It was like her heart was speaking another language. All she knew was that she didn’t want Tomoyo to go away. The world would be too dark a place. Too bland. Too real. Tomoyo added a dreamlike quality to life, one that always enveloped Sakura. Her days would be too normal without Tomoyo’s eccentric activities and her embarrassing remarks. She would be too weak without Tomoyo’s constant affection and support. She had Syaoran to lean on, but Tomoyo made that unnecessary. She brought up a strength and courage inside Sakura that wasn’t there without her. The thought of never seeing Tomoyo again, disappearing from her life as her mother had so long ago again pierced the chaos inside of her. “Please don’t ever leave me, Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura sobbed. Tomoyo froze at Sakura’s words, unable to do much more than hold onto the grief-stricken Cardmistress. It was as if Sakura had heard her thoughts from earlier that night. Words escaped Tomoyo, eluding her tongue as she tried desperately to think. She had never been able to lie to Sakura. It was nearly impossible to her. She could omit details or hide the truth if she thought it would hurt Sakura, but she could never bring herself to lie to the brunette. ‘Sakura-chan, it’s for the best. I have to leave. I have to fade out of your life,’ she thought to herself, not daring to speak the words lest they cause even more pain for either of them. Her fingers brushed away still more tears that fell past Sakura’s emerald eyes before pushing away some of Sakura’s hair. The lavender haired woman’s voice was soft and comforting as she gazed deeply into Sakura’s tear stained eyes. “Sakura-chan, please don’t cry. It makes me feel bad to see you so sad. I promise that I’ll always hold you close to my heart. Wherever I am and wherever you are, I’ll always see Sakura-chan when I close my eyes.” Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she continued, her fingers gently stroking through Sakura’s hair. Her heart ached at the sight of Sakura’s tear streaked face. She wanted to take all of that pain in Sakura’s eyes and take it for herself. Seeing Sakura in pain hurt her infinitely worse than her own suffering. “Sakura-chan, I had a wonderful time with you. Thank you so much for these golden memories. I will treasure them always, even when I’m looking down on the earth from above. Because nothing could be more beautiful than the moments I’ve spent with you, Sakura-chan. They will always fill my heart with joy when I look back on them. It’s exactly why I always videotaped you. So I could always watch those captured moments of you, so I could hold those little pieces close to my heart. I could never leave you, Sakura-chan. Not completely. I may go back home and things might get busy in your life. But my heart will always be singing to you. Because I’m wrapped up in the ribbons that trail from Sakura-chan’s heart.” A small smile blossomed on her lips as her hands slowly stroked Sakura’s cheeks. Looking back into Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes, Sakura could feel the lightening behind them. It was warm, encompassing, and made her whole being tingle. Her fear and panic began to dissipate. She was still worried about Tomoyo’s trip home, but it felt so far away now. So very far away. “I just want to be with you,” Sakura whispered softly, hugging the nearly frail woman in her arms. “That’s all I want, too, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo replied, her fingers trailing past Sakura’s ear. She continued to gaze into Sakura’s eyes lovingly, her free hand going back to rubbing the brunette’s back. “You’ve given me the most wonderful moments in my life. I don’t think I can ever repay you. Sakura-chan, you the most beautiful, genki, sweet, and amazing person that I have ever met. I don’t think I’ll ever know how I was lucky enough to meet you. It’s always been easy for me to see how you could capture hearts with more ease than you can capture Cards.” Her smile grew softly, her dark hair teasing Sakura’s own. “You mean the world to me, Sakura-chan. No matter what happens, just please be happy. Wherever life takes you, I want it to be a spectacular trip for you, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo barely managed to hold up her mask as her mind retread over Sakura’s words, over how scared and worried she had looked. Could she leave Sakura? Could she fade out of her life? She knew she had to, for both of their sakes, but could she really bring herself to? Especially when she could see so clearly into those beautiful emerald jewels? A part of her told her that she had been wrong, that she had been blinded by her belief that she couldn’t make Sakura happy, that Sakura needed her every bit as much as she needed Sakura. That thought frightened her deeply. Because if it was right, then what had she done by helping to get Sakura with Syaoran? “But I want you to be happy, Tomoyo-chan. Why can’t we both be happy?” Sakura asked, genuinely curious. She sounded much calmer now, almost relaxed in their shared embrace. This whole thing was like a riddle. It was stuck in her brain but she couldn’t quite make sense of it. Though the answer was on the tip of her tongue. Tomoyo’s special person was so lucky to have the love in Tomoyo’s bound heart. But why couldn’t he just wake up and notice how much she needed him? How hurt her love was making her? Sakura couldn’t understand how anyone could not return Tomoyo’s love with the same impassioned fervor that the dark haired woman herself was capable of. It bathed Sakura in its gentle glow, sheltering her from the cold and loneliness. Again the urgent howl of feelings inside her almost made her jump. It was as if they were struggling to break free. But still, Sakura couldn’t understand. They grew fiercer in her heart, trying desperately to bubble out of the Cardmistress. Tomoyo was the focus of them, she new that. Strong, heated, deep feelings that ran throughout her were boiling in her heart. They were nearly screaming at her. She felt like she only had one chance. But one chance for what? Tomoyo smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She held onto Sakura warmly, her hand still moving from the small of Sakura’s back up to her shoulder blades. “I’m happy as long as Saku...” Sakura cute her off, her lips meeting Tomoyo’s in a delightful peck that took Tomoyo by complete surprise. She had certainly not been expecting that from the brunette. Her own feelings had become such a mystery to her as of late and Sakura’s increased affection ever since her arrival had made things even more difficult for her to decipher. Her pale cheeks darkened as she felt the lips against her own again, this time kissing longer. The young woman pulled her magical best friend into a closer embrace, returning the kiss herself. It tasted sweeter than anything the banquet or the restaurant had to offer. The silky touch of Sakura’s lips was softer than any fabric she had ever handled. It was magical, a brief moment where she got more than just images or momentos of Sakura. She had a piece of her soul. Thinking back on it, Sakura couldn’t say exactly why she had kissed Tomoyo. Only that she had to. That every ounce of her being had been wholeheartedly for the idea and that she had merely carried through with it. The single kiss she and Tomoyo had shared several nights before had been the most powerful kiss Sakura had ever felt in her life. Not for the way Tomoyo kissed, no. Tomoyo’s kisses were delicate, like sweet butterflies, gentle and slow. But it was the way it grasped onto her heart and soul and burned through her with a strength that made her feel truly alive. More alive than she had ever felt in her life. Right there. With Tomoyo. The kiss lengthened, Tomoyo’s petal soft lips parting her own ever so slightly as it continued. Sakura could do nothing but hold tightly onto the dark haired woman, hoping once more that the morning would never come. Her fingers found themselves at home in Tomoyo’s luxurious lavender hair, brushing through the soft curls. “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered as she finally gasped for breath. Her body was nearly shuddering but not from lack of air. Tomoyo’s pale cheeks had reached a beautiful crimson hue that she was sure her own were probably matching at the moment. “Hanyaa...” A musical giggle escaped Tomoyo at that. She was still a little surprised by Sakura’s sudden action, but she was glad for it. If only she could save kisses in her scrapbook as easily as she could store photos. But this was something she was sure her memory would never forget, even if it would be nice to have videotaped the event. It got rid of any doubts she may have had about Sakura’s involvement in the previous kiss. This time there had been no prompting. Sakura was the one who had kissed her. She felt delightedly thrilled at that. Sakura had kissed her. What a wonderful way to bring her last night in Hong Kong to a close. With a kiss from Sakura. Time may not be able to stop on a single moment, but those moments were forever carried forward as long as they were held onto by a loving heart. “Thank you again for everything, Sakura-chan. I’ll never forget any of this. You’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could possibly be.” Smiling sweetly, she kissed Sakura’s cheek. A dreamy sigh escaped her lips as she tilted her head to the side. “Sakura-chan is a such a fantastic kisser. So genki.” Sakura felt herself blushing at Tomoyo’s words. But it hardly seemed to matter. She hugged her best friend tightly, feeling fuzzy and peaceful and content again, though her frazzled thoughts still longed for more, to feel those creamy lips again. She shook her head, blushing darker. She had no idea why kissing Tomoyo affected her so deeply, but she loved the way it felt, both during the kiss and in her arms afterwards. If only... Her eyes widened after they finally fell upon her watch. Just how long had they been dancing? “Tomoyo- chan, we need to get home if we’re going to get you packed in time for your flight and if you’re going to get any sleep.” “I can always sleep on the plane, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said sweetly, stroking Sakura’s cheek with gentle fingers. “I want to spend the last of my time with you.” This was it. Her last few hours with Sakura. She wanted to do anything but sleep at the moment, her heart racing as she enjoyed the close proximity to her friend. All she wanted was to be with Sakura for as long as she could. To be with her Cardmistress until she was finally pulled away. Her eyes sparkled as she watched Sakura, each gentle caress whispering her love to the brunette. Sakura hugged Tomoyo tightly and nodded. Sleep seemed to be the furthest thing from her mind as well. She had finally gotten Tomoyo up to Hong Kong and she wanted to hold onto her forever. “Would you like to dance again?” Sakura asked curiously. “With all my heart, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo whispered in reply, her eyes never leaving Sakura’s. There was only now. And in this now, there was only herself and Sakura. Tomorrow could wait.