Dear Sakura
by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
amazonessduo@hotmail.com
pearsong1954@yahoo.com


	Bbbrrrrinnng.... Bbbrrrriiinnng.... Bbbbrrrrriiiinnng....
	Tomoyo rolled over in her sleep, her long dark hair covering her
pale form like a sinuous shadow. She stirred as the phone continued
to ring at her in the silence, finally sitting up in the darkened
room. She was lying on the couch in her little home theater room, a
video of Sakura still playing in the background. She was still
wearing her busines clothes from the day before, not having had the
will to change out of them. Her tired mind quickly located the source
of the ringing and she slowly reached out for the phone. Who could be
calling her at this hour? Her fingers paused just before touching the
phone as if it had suddenly become a venomous snake, its ringing the
deadly rattle of a beast about to lunge out and bite her. She was
filled with a deep and foreboding dread at who may be on the other
end. 'Leave it. You can pretend that you were asleep. It's late and
no one will mind,' she thought to herself. But she knew that she
couldn't do that. Whoever would be calling this late at night must
have a terribly urgent reason. She couldn't just ignore it. 
	"Moshi moshi..." Tomoyo heard herself say, but the voice didn't
sound like her own. It was cracked and pained, as if it still held
countless unshed tears. Her fingers trembled as she held the phone to
her ear, brushing back dark hair that got in the way. Her dread was
growing by the second as she waited for what felt like an eternity
for an answer. For a second, she felt the beginnings of relief begin
to brush lightly at her bruised and battered soul. It must have been
a wrong number. But her relief quickly turned to mute horror as an
all too familiar voice answered her.
	"Tomoyo-chan!!" an uberly genki voice called out. "Tomoyo-chan, I
was so worried. I couldn't get through earlier and I didn't know if
you would be there or not. I just... You see, I was in the garden
and... Well, remember how you kissed me?" A giggle before she
continued. "Well, I finally... Ummm... Can I come over?" Sakura
sweatdropped on the other end of the phone. She felt like a guilty
schoolgirl asking permission to go over to a friend's house to do
anything but study. That thought was silly and awkward for her, but
she couldn't help it. Being back home had felt almost like she had
travelled back in time. She hadn't been in the house more than a few
minutes before calling the Daidouji household. She could hear Touya
making tea in the kitchen and silently thanked her older brother for
all of his help.
	The phone clattered to the floor, dropping from Tomoyo's numb
hands. She stared at the deadly viper that had indeed reached out and
bit her. How could it be Sakura? Her letter couldn't have gotten to
her already, could it? Tomoyo wasn't even completely packed yet. She
hadn't planned on moving out for another two days. And how could
Sakura be in Tomoeda? She should be in Hong Kong at that very moment,
snuggling with her husband. This was wrong. This was all wrong. It
completely shattered Tomoyo's painstakingly crafted plans to fade
from Sakura's life as well as her mother's. She felt trapped, caged
in on all sides by imposing iron bars. How could she escape her
torment if Sakura would not allow it?
	"Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura's voice asked, concern tinging her exuberance. 
	Tomoyo realized only dimly that Sakura had been waiting on the
other end while the phone had lain uselessly on the floor. She
reached out slowly, picking up the cold plastic once more. Her eyes
flickered to the screen that was still showing her beautiful second
cousin flying through the air like an angel. The angel had finally
come for her, and she had nowhere to flee. She searched desperately
for her soft voice, one that had served her well for years as a
member of the choir, but was frustrated to find it having suddenly
gone missing. What disturbed her even more was that she had begun
crying moments earlier and hadn't even realized it. Wet tears slipped
past her cheek and against the telephone as she held it tightly. She
briefly remembered the cute pink cell phones that she had gotten from
her mother to stay in contact with Sakura. They had been a wonderful
tether for the two girls, offering Sakura with a constant link to her
loving and supportive friend and giving Tomoyo a link to the
beautiful girl of her dreams. It had been a wonderful thing for both
of them, giving Sakura a way to always turn to her best friend and
Tomoyo a way to bask in Sakura's presence even when they were far
apart. It had worked so well, in fact, that Tomoyo had given Syaoran
one of the cute cell phones so that he and Sakura may be able to
share that same bond. Hadn't that been the start of all this? No,
no... The start of all this had been the gift of a small eraser a
lifetime ago.
	"Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura repeated, this time listening intently for
her best friend. She thought she could hear short, ragged breaths, as
if someone was short of air, and what sounded like sniffling. "Tomoyo-
chan?"
	'She can't hear me like this. It will ruin everything. She'll never
let me go if she knows how I feel. And it will destroy Sakura-chan's
fairy tale. Her beautiful new life will crumble. All because of me. I
can't do that to Sakura-chan. I can't stay because I... can't...
handle... it....' Tomoyo thought frantically, her shaking fingers
quickly wiping her tears away. It did little to soothe the cold and
broken shards of her heart. 'If I stay, it'll kill both of us, Sakura-
chan. I can't be a part of your life anymore. Seeing you, loving you,
knowing that I can't be a part of your heart, it's killing me. It's
killing me and I won't let it kill you, too.' When she finally spoke,
her voice came out weakly, a pale shadow of it's normal gentle self.
It sounded sorrowful in Tomoyo's ears and she immediately cut herself
off, closing her lavender eyes tightly. 'Hang up!' part of her cried,
but she knew she couldn't. Sakura was like the Syren from long ago,
luring her towards grave dangers that she couldn't force herself to
escape from. She needed to answer Sakura. And soon. But she didn't
know how. If Sakura heard her crying, then her farewell letter would
be for naught. Sakura would know the pain that resided in her heart
and they would both be doomed. With a supreme effort, the pale ghost
of a girl gathered the splintered shards of her masks, cutting her
soul in the process as she pulled them up for one final act. But
would they be enough? Were these tiny shards enough to hide the pain
she was in? "Sakura-chan..." her soft voice whispered into the phone.
The pain was still glaringly evident in Tomoyo's ears, but she hoped
that the brunette wouldn't hear it. The ocean of tears underneath her
voice's surface wasn't gone exactly, but it was muted, as if a large
tarp had been thrown over it.
	The auburn haired girl on the other end of the line sighed in
relief. She had thought that the line had disconnected or that, even
more irrationally, Tomoyo had finally made good on her words.
'Goodbye,' echoed through Sakura's mind in Tomoyo's sweet voice,
surrounding her like a sad song from long ago. It anchored Sakura's
heart with painful chains and hooks. But Sakura struggled forward
despite the immense weight on her heart. She was here now. Tomoyo
couldn't leave or fade away. She would finally fulfill her promise.
'I knew Sakura-chan would come and rescue me,' Tomoyo had said an
eternity before. And Sakura had finally come to rescue her fair
skinned damsel in distress. "I'm here, Tomoyo-chan," she said again,
not noticing that she was speaking out loud. She blushed slightly,
but continued on. "I'm glad to hear you. I was so worried about you.
I got your letter in the mail today... well, yesterday... Anyway, I
got your letter and I had to come see you. Tomoyo-chan..." her voice
caught in her throat as she blinked back crystal tears. "I don't want
you to go. I need you, Tomoyo-chan. I need to talk to you. Right now.
I'm going to be over in a few minutes, okay? Just unlock your window
and I'll be there as soon as I can," the Cardmistress said quickly. 
	Sakura was too flustered to sleep, her heart's recent revelation
too much to keep inside for herself. It longed to be offered up as a
gift to the woman who had been there for Sakura every step of the way
through her life. But she couldn't do that over the phone. Words
weren't Sakura's strong point. She always went on her emotions. She
couldn't even understand her emotions half the time. But she knew
that the woman on the other end of the phone knew her emotions
perfectly, as if she could read Sakura the same way others read a
good book. She had the eye of an artist, but one that was attuned to
the human soul. No one else understood her like Tomoyo. No one else
could hope to. But there was one thing that even Tomoyo hadn't been
able to uncover. The glistening love that lay shrouded in the curious
mists of Sakura's heart. Now that Sakura had finally understood it,
she wanted to go to her gentle best friend and to tell her the
deliscious secret she had learned. 
	Of course, she didn't know if Tomoyo would accept her tentative
offering of love or even how she would react. The eccentric young
woman held so much love in her heart that its depth felt endless and
all encompassing, like a warm, deep ocean. She knew that much from
the love Tomoyo had always showered on her. It may have been
embarrassing at times, but Sakura would never have wished it away. In
fact, being without it during her months in Hong Kong had felt like
she had been exiled to a barren and empty desert. She knew that
Tomoyo's warm and giving heart had a very special someone at it's
core, but she knew not who that person was. She only knew that if
they couldn't love her dear, sweet Tomoyo, then they were undeserving
of the lavender haired woman's boundless love. And Sakura would try
her hardest to take away all of Tomoyo's pain, to love her with all
of her heart. She may not be Tomoyo's special someone, but she would
more than try to make up for it. She would love Tomoyo with all of
her heart and soul and try to make everything, for once, all right.
	Tomoyo didn't know how much time had gone by as she sat on the
floor of her room in the dark, her legs curled under her and her
tearstained eyes still focused on the moving images of Sakura on the
screen in front of her. Panic consumed her, a viscious monster that
had snagged her in it's fangs. Her clothes were only half packed, her
airplane tickets not for another two days. Sakura had caught her in
the midst of her plan to fade away from her life, and like a breath
on a house of cards, it all came tumbling down. Sakura couldn't come
now, not with the state she was in. It was all Tomoyo could do to
clutch onto the few remaining shards of the illusions she used to
hide her pain from those she loved. If Sakura saw her.... "Sakura-
chan...  I can't see you... Not now. Today was such a long day and I
can't keep my eyes open much longer." And it was true. She couldn't
keep her eyes open without tears cascading down her pale cheeks.
	Blinking in confusion, Sakura listened to Tomoyo words once again
in her mind. That didn't sound like her happily eccentric best
friend. She knew that Tomoyo had stayed up quite often on costumes or
videotapes and the like. Besides, Sonomi was the businesswoman in the
family. She was the one who threw herself into her work. And even
then, she would throw that aside when her daughter needed her. And
there was something else as well, as if there were little broken ice
crystals in Tomoyo's voice, threaded through the lavender haired
woman's melodious voice. This took Sakura completely by surprise. She
hadn't thought of the possibility that Tomoyo might not be ready for
her to visit as soon as she reached Tomoeda. She was almost as
shocked by the lack of Tomoyo's usual embarrassing comments. No
'Sakura-chan's lovely voice is like a dream', 'All of Tomoeda must be
ecstatic to know that Sakura-chan is back again', or even 'Isn't Hong
Kong missing Sakura-chan's beautiful face?'. They had always caused
such a flurry of emotions in her, but the lack of her best friend's
adoring remarks left her in silence.
	Covering the phone as she choked back a sob, Tomoyo tried
desperately to think. She couldn't let Sakura see her like this,
teary eyed and broken. It would crush the energetic Cardmistress's
spirits. She was like a shattered China doll lying upon the floor.
Wasn't it better for Sakura to think that her favorite China doll was
simply elsewhere than finding it broken and smashed? Pulling together
the last bit of her strength, Tomoyo could feel her tears burning at
her eyes as she kept her voice as level and soft as she could. Her
tattered heart heaved in her chest as she hung onto her crystalline
mask shards until her soul cried out. "Sakura-chan needs her beauty
sleep so that she will be gorgeous and genki when the morning comes,"
she said at last, and was relieved to hear it sound as obsessive and
adoring as ever. 
	That seemed to relax Sakura on the other end of the phone, calming
some of her worries for her dark haired friend. Sakura sighed,
hugging her knees to her chest as she held onto the phone. "Are you
sure, Tomoyo-chan? I... I really want to see you." She had been
waiting so long. Ever since they had said farewell at the airport,
Sakura had been longing to see her friend again, to hold her, to love
her, and to kiss her. To make sure that things would truly be all
right. That feeling had become even stronger since discovering the
love within her for her blue eyed friend. Tomoyo had been all she had
thought about on the flight out and the ride home. Things like her
marriage and what would happen when they met failed to concern her.
All she knew was that she had to be with Tomoyo again. To lose
herself in the sweet scent of her long, luscious hair. To feel her
gentle embrace, and her warm lips. She wanted to give Tomoyo her
entire heart, to offer it on a beautiful platter of silver and
emeralds. What Tomoyo would do with her gift was entirely up to her.
But Sakura knew that she had to give her most precious Christmas
present to Tomoyo soon.
	The dark haired woman waited in silence for a long moment, trying
to regulate her breathing. This was even more difficult than when
Sakura had complained about the butterflies in her stomach while
Tomoyo had helped her into her wedding gown. That had been a very
traumatic experience for the young heiress. Helping Sakura into the
intricately designed and lovingly crafted dress, her own heart
pouring out to the auburn haired woman as she tried to soothe
Sakura's worries over marrying someone else had been one of the
hardest moments in her life. Part of her had wanted to confess her
love right then, to stand up after helping Sakura with her stockings,
to look her in the eyes and tell her 'You don't have to be afraid,
Sakura-chan. I love you.' But even that now seemed like nothing
compared to this bitter struggle with her emotions. She knew that she
had strings around Sakura, that she had since they had been small
children. Sakura was so loving, so trusting, and she had such faith
in Tomoyo. Tomoyo knew that she could use that to manipulate Sakura
like a marionette on it's strings. Sakura would listen to whatever
she had to say, always trusting her dark haired friend. But Tomoyo
had never used that for her own gain. Well, aside from getting Sakura
into her costumes and videotaping her. Tomoyo's gentle heart would
not allow her to use Sakura in such a way. So she had merely used her
influence on the brunette to gently nudge her heart in the right
direction, to help her through all of the obstacles life placed
before the Cardmistress. She now had to try and keep Sakura from
coming to her, though the longing in the brunette's voice broke
Tomoyo's already shattered heart into further pieces. Taking a deep
breath, Tomoyo fought back her tears as she continued. "It really has
been a long day, Sakura-chan, especially if you've been on a plane
for so long. Please get some rest. When next I see Sakura-chan, I
want to see her emerald eyes sparkling happily as she laughs with
joy."
	Sakura smiled softly as she held the phone to her ear. Just hearing
Tomoyo's voice made her feel better. "Yeah, I guess you're right,
Tomoyo-chan. I can wait till the morning. That would probably be
better anyway. I have a lot I need to tell you." Slumping back on the
bed, Sakura moved an athletic leg into the air as she yawned. It
really had been a long flight. And it would probably be better if she
could actually decide what she wanted to say to Tomoyo. Not that she
was ever very good with such things. As Tomoyo had told her before,
she should simply speak her heart. She nodded in silent agreement to
her best friend. She would speak her heart when she saw Tomoyo the
next day. "Okay. Thanks, Tomoyo-chan. I'm so glad to hear you again.
I really missed you. Please sleep well, okay? I'll see you early
tomorrow."
	"Sweet dreams, Sakura-chan. Dream of the most beautiful angels,"
Tomoyo's soft voice whispered quietly on the other end. And with a
slow click, she was gone.
	Lying back in bed, Sakura stared straight up. She wasn't looking at
the ceiling so much as she was looking through it, as if it wasn't
there. She had wanted to see Tomoyo that night, but the lavender
haired woman had made sense. Besides, it was better for Tomoyo to
hear what Sakura had to say when she was rested. Sakura, on the other
hand, was pretty sure that she couldn't sleep. She had slept off and
on during the plane ride and in the car with Touya. On top of that,
her mind was still buzzing with excitement over being back in
Tomoeda, of being so close to realizing her hearts secret desires.
The thoughts of once again basking in that sweet love that she had
taken for granted during the years she and Tomoyo had been friends
sounded exhilerating. She let out a warm sigh. "Hanyaan..." It had
always been there, but she had overlooked it as something that would
forever be a part of her life. Now she knew that Tomoyo was its
source, the reason behind so many of her happy childhood memories,
and throughout her adolescence. Tomoyo had bloomed like a gorgeous
flower, and like a beautiful gardener had coaxed Sakura into becoming
a very pretty young woman, always nurturing her heart and soul with a
warmth that Sakura could search the world over for and never find
again. Sakura felt blessed to have grown up with such love in her
life. 
	But if Tomoyo's heart belonged to another, to her special someone,
then how would she react to Sakura's declaration of love? Would it
bother her? Would Tomoyo put her down gently? Or would she be happy
to simply be loved by someone for once in her life? And just who was
this special person anyhow? Tomoyo had first mentioned them when they
had only been ten year olds. And yet she still spoke of them with the
same passionate fervor she had always shown for this mysterious
person. So it had to be someone that Tomoyo had known for years.
Someone who had been close to her, always there in her life
throughout all of that time. Someone who Tomoyo thought could never
love her back. 
	Sakura sat bolt upright in bed, her emerald eyes wide as a sudden
realization hit her. She ran down the stairs two at a time, almost
running full tilt into her older brother as he finished up the tea.
"Oniichan!! I know who Tomoyo-chan's in love with!"
	Touya turned around in surprise. He hadn't expected Sakura to find
out so suddenly on her own. Especially after all the hints Tomoyo had
dropped over the years and the one's he himself had been dropping
since the two had turned fourteen. That she would finally come to
that conclusion after all of this time stunned him. "You do?" he
asked curiously, holding the two tea cups with the grace that years
as a waiter, among other things, had afforded him.
	Sakura nodded energetically, her short hair flying about her face.
The young woman looked seriously focused, as she could often get when
faced with a particularly difficult problem. She sighed, blinking her
emerald green eyes. She wasn't too happy about it, but at least she
knew. "Tomoyo-chan's in love with one of her bodyguards," she said at
last, her shoulders slumping. 
	Staring at Sakura for endless minutes, Touya slowly raised an
eyebrow. Handing Sakura her cup of tea, he ruffled the younger
woman's hair. "Good try, monster, but you're going to have to try a
lot harder than that if you're going to figure out who she's in love
with." Sighing, the sleep deprived older sibling made his way
upstairs. 
	"Hoe.... Why is this so hard?" Sakura asked herself in the empty
kitchen. Figuring out Tomoyo was certainly a lot more difficult than
understanding the Sakura Cards. She would have argued with her
brother, but she simply wasn't in the mood. Taking a sip of the
flavorful tea, she wondered idly just what she was supposed to do for
the next... five hours, if she left at eight in the morning. A sudden
idea struck her like a lightening bolt. Grinning, the Mistress of the
Cards made her way upstairs. 
	"Not where is it?" she asked no one in particular as she sifted
through her bag. She smiled at the Cardcaptor Sakura keychain that
Tomoyo had had made for Sakura's thirteenth birthday that lay hanging
on the side. It was one of a kind, the design of the superdeformed
Sakura completely Tomoyo's while Sonomi had it crafted by her
company. She pushed it with a finger, watching it swing back and
forth like a pendulum. Shaking her head, she went back to searching
and within moments pulled out the object of her search. Tomoyo's half
finished costume lay unfurled before her, it's dazzling design
obvious even in that early state of completion. Tomoyo had always
been making such beautiful things for her. It seemed a shame that
Tomoyo's final costume design was never to be finished. She
understood that Tomoyo had wanted her last design for Sakura to be
the wedding dress, so the lavender haired woman thought it
unnecessary to finish this final costume. So if Tomoyo couldn't
finish it, Sakura could. 
	Smiling to herself, Sakura ran to the other room to get the
supplies she would need. Sewing wasn't exactly her forte, but she had
sewn a yukata for Syaoran and she knew that if she tried hard enough,
she could finish what Tomoyo had begun. It wouldn't be as lovely as
Tomoyo's delicate work, but it would finally be finished, putting to
rest at least one of Sakura's worries. This was their work, both
Tomoyo's and Sakura's. She wanted to show it to her best friend.
After all of those years of wearing Tomoyo's costumes, blushing all
different shades of red with the bizarre yet captivating designs,
this would be a combination of both of their hearts, every stitch
lovingly etched into the beautiful fabric. Clasping her hands
together determinedly, Sakura got to work. 


	Clutching onto the teddy bear Sakura had sewn for her as a farewell
present, Tomoyo rocked gently back and forth, whispering a lullaby
that her mother used to sing to her when she was a little girl. Icy
tears dripped down her chin, falling onto her little stuffed bear
named Sakura. She held it tightly, sobbing quietly as the phone lay
haphazardly a few feet away from her. "I love you so much, Sakura-
chan... Please forgive me... I don't know what to do, Sakura..." she
whispered tearfully into bear Sakura's ear. Her whole body felt cold,
torn apart by countless thorns that snaked around her heart. "Please
help me..." But no one would come and save her. Not even her darling
Sakura could save her from the darkness that surrounded her now. If
the brunette came for her, they were both doomed. Sakura's happy life
would be ruined and Tomoyo would never be able to survive watching
Sakura so closely like that, unable to be with her.
	An even darker thought that crossed her mind was about what Sakura
had been struggling to say on the phone. What feelings did Sakura
have for her? What feelings did the Cardmistress understand now? Did
she know of Tomoyo's love for her? Which meant that Sakura's
marriage, her beautiful marriage, the child she hadn't yet had, the
whole life that lay before her was in peril. And all because Tomoyo
had failed to fade out of Sakura's life properly. 
	"Sakura-chan, what am I to do?" Tomoyo asked hopelessly, pressing
her tearstreaked cheek into the soft material of the teddy bear.