Title: The Different Path
Author: Matthias Engel aka MysticMew
Feedback: Solarsenshi@gmx.de
Status: Alpha
Fandom: Card Captor Sakura (manga)
Rating: PG(-13) (Nothing serious, really)
Category: Romance, Darkish and Drama (at the beginning)
Pairing: Sakura/Tomoyo
Timeline: Hard to pinpoint, begins years after the manga and then... 
well, you'll see.
Summary: When you realize your feelings too late, there is nothing you 
can do. No force in existence can undo what is fixed in time... Or is 
there?
Distribution: MSD (www.catstrio.de), Shoujo Ai.com (www.shoujoai.com), 
ff.net (www.fanfiction.net), Mediaminer (www.mediaminer.org), others 
may follow. If you like this fic for your story, please tell me, I'm 
not likely to put stones in your way, but I like to know where it 
goes.
Legal Disclaimer: This story features two females romantically 
involved. If that is illegal where you are or entirely not your thing, 
turn around and leave now.
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP and assorted 
companies, I claim no right on the characters and original storyline.
Story Disclaimer: The Different Path(c)2003 by Matthias Engel

******************************

Foreword

Hi, there. And another new fandom for me. :) It has taken me awhile to 
get around and finally get into CCS. I am not sure myself anymore why 
I never was interested in it before since I do love CLAMP's work (a 
big Rayearth fan after all). But now I finally did read the manga (at 
least a fan-translated version) and I think I am rather addicted now. 
;)
This story follows the plot of the manga. I have only seen the first 
six episodes of the anime so far (local, German dub) and quite frankly 
I tend to stick to the original most of the time anyway with facts. 
Often anime leaves out so many important things. This is important 
because there is a card in this story that I know exists in the anime 
but not in the manga. Try to forget what you know about the additional 
cards in the anime, it won't be the same.
Bear with me, I finished the manga recently and have read a couple of 
CCS fics. Compared to my knowledge about other anime/manga, I am still 
trying to get a clear grasp on the characters, their feelings and 
thoughts (an aspect rather important to my style of writing), so it 
might seem a little rough here and there. I hope you still like it. 
This has been produced in more or less one day... if I count together 
the hours. I began Friday morning and finished it later today, 
Saturday. It's hard to give a clear writing time as I tend to do with 
my other rare short stories since it hasn't been done in one session - 
so I won't.
This might become part of a series. MIGHT.
Now enough with the intro notes. Enjoy!

******************************

The Different Path
Based on the works of CLAMP
Story Concept by Matthias Engel

******************************

A lone raven was steadily crowing, the sharp, barking sounds almost 
like a fierce protector, a fierce protector of what lay beyond the 
metal fence on which he was perched atop. His eyes were gleaming - 
malevolent one might say - eying the trio in its guarded sanctuary 
with wary eyes. It probably thought no less of us than the usual 
disturbances that had taken a hold of not only this lonely place of 
eternal rest but the entire world... and probably much more. That was 
most likely of little interest to the raven as it sat, guarding, alone 
but never lonely, the spirits always a detached company...
	I met the ruby eyes of the raven and held his gaze for a couple 
of seconds, satisfied only when the small creature nodded sharply 
once, emitting a low screech, turning away once again to look out for 
more... intruders. I smiled but the smile lacked emotion, bitter and 
twisted, barely even a ghost of what it had once been anymore. Where 
was no purpose for that smile anymore. For what would you smile if 
there was nothing left?
	I glanced up into the midnight sky and the angry black and 
crimson-tainted clouds overshadowing every light. It had been this way 
for a long time now. And ever since a few days ago, that was all the 
world would ever see. Walking silently past the rows and rows of 
stones, marking the resting places of those that left this world 
already, I could not deny the thought that maybe those that already 
left before everything started were better off. They had left in 
relative peace, most of them probably content with their time spent 
here. I knew that sounded rather harsh but it didn't feel particular 
illogical.
	I never quite liked graveyards. I think in my youth it was a mix 
of the silent longing for my mother whenever we visited her grave and 
the very atmosphere itself. Oniichan had forever sealed my fear of 
ghosts in place. Now, years later, I still felt a tiny shudder albeit 
knowing now that ghosts were not something you had to worry about - 
there were far more dangerous and scarier things out there. Now, 
leaving behind the neatly arranged rows of graves - the flowers 
everywhere already starting to wither and die from the lack of 
sunlight these days - I decided that I hated graveyards even more. I 
guess I never was someone who liked to say goodbye and this place had 
taken too much from me to feel even neutral about it.
	I passed by my parents' graves, side by side, stopping for a 
moment to pay my respect and make sure that Flower's magic was still 
working. Continuing on I did the same with Touya's. Glancing to the 
side my more or less monotone features softened into an expression of 
compassion. Yue stood in silence, not moving, as if in prayer. Maybe 
he was, I couldn't quite tell.
	Quietly slipping past him I went to the end of the row, two 
beautifully decorated tombstones were left, sustained by magic and 
protect from the darkness engulfing the world, like a tiny spot of 
light in an ocean of shadows...
	
	Syaoran Li
	1982 - 2001
	Brave and courageous, he protected his loved ones until the end.

	A spot of light that in the end wasn't much more than an echo, 
just like the light of the distant stars that reached us was an echo 
of a long time ago. You can see but you can't reach for it, because 
the moment you do, you only realize it is long gone already.

	Daidouji Tomoyo
	1982 - 2001
	
	A light in the darkness, always there, always giving. She was 
our heart, taking the burdens we could not. Her rest shall be 
peaceful, for if anyone, she deserves it most.
	A tear slipped past my eyelids, down my cheeks, before dropping 
to the ground at my feet unhindered. I thought I'd lost the ability to 
cry long ago, the endless pool finally drained dry. Yet, it still 
wasn't enough. The human heart was not made for that kind of torture, 
especially not such a young one, I mused. I could feel it even now, 
the soundless cry, like a crescendo bubbling to the surface to be 
finally released without sound because sound was incapable of doing 
the emotions inside justice.
	For days I had cried myself to sleep afterwards, asking myself, 
wondering where it had gone wrong, what we had done to deserve this. 
Nothing, I suppose. We were all just pawns in the big game after all. 
It was our fate. Everything would surely be alright... as long as it 
was convenient.
	I knelt down to trace the letters on the cold... dead... stone. 
One after another. Every word bringing a new emotion, a new memory. I 
let them wash over me. Years spend so innocently, without care, 
without the knowledge that everything would eventually be gone, far 
sooner than we could ever imagine. I had been so naïve back then. A 
part of me didn't want to regret it, but another part was filled with 
immeasurable guilt of the decisions I made so totally in disregard of 
the effect they had for those around me. These last nights I had 
contemplated, theorized what I could have done. But in the end, there 
was no simple solution. Even if I had known back then, I would have 
had to make a decision, people I cared about would still be hurt. It 
would just have been... a different path.
	A happier path?
	I didn't know. Even though the situation called for it lately, I 
never invoked the power to see the future. If I had known, I was sure, 
it would have been far more brutal. Clow had known his own death and 
could do nothing about it. Knowing the future was not the same as 
standing above it, of being untouchable. You could know everything but 
in the end, you also knew it would happen this way or another. And 
knowing that and being unable to do anything about it had to hurt far 
worse.
	Losing Syaoran and Tomoyo had been the most painful thing that 
ever happened to me. I was sure I would follow them soon enough, but 
now a different option had presented itself and I clung to it with the 
same fierce determination that had sparked me, driven me onwards in 
capturing the Clow Cards as a child, the same determination that 
fueled every remotely important task in my life. I thought I lost it 
and maybe that was true in some sense. The feeling now was... 
different. Tainted, desperate. It wasn't the kind of belief anymore 
that everything would be alright because I wished it to be. This 
feeling was far more... radical I suppose is the best way. I would 
make everything alright, no matter the cost.
	All that was left now was to make a choice. Then again, maybe it 
wasn't as much a choice anymore as it had become a decision already. I 
never thought I'd ever be forced to choose between them and ironically 
I never had to until now. But now it was inevitable... as was the 
decision I made.
	Standing up, I fingered the tiny key chain and unclasped it from 
around my neck. "I'm sorry, Kerberos, Yue," I said softly as I turned 
away from the graves to face them. The two guardians looked at me 
startled, not quite understanding. I expected as much. Yue seemed 
impassive as he studied me, but he had turned away from Touya's grave 
to face me, silently trying to perceive the nature of my words. 
Kero-chan floated in place for a moment, obviously not quite sure how 
to react. He was confused, that much I could tell. I was never any 
good with reading emotions but I was sure he had to be wondering why I 
would apologize.
	Well, he would know soon.
	The tiny key flared in my hands. I didn't bother to call its 
power just yet. "Light, Dark," I said in a firmer voice, "come forth." 
Two cards appeared in the air before me. One exploding into bright, 
yet soft light and the other into dark, calming darkness, before both 
formed tiny, sprite-like figures, female in nature - though I never 
quite asked if they really HAD a gender.
	The two souls of the cards knelt on one knee, heads bowed for a 
moment before glancing up to regard me respectfully with a compassion 
that always managed to warm my heart even in the darkest hour. They 
were bound to my heart, I knew as much. From all the cards, Light and 
Dark were closest to me. That is why I almost expected them to know 
the reason of their summon.
	"What do you wish of us, Mistress?" Light asked in a musical 
tone that was comforting but sad at the same time. They knew what was 
going on inside me, I was sure of that. They always seemed to know my 
heart, probably better than I did myself. The turmoil in my heart and 
soul seemed to be as evident to the two sprites as if it was the most 
simple thing in the world. They never told me though, making sure that 
I realized my own feelings rather than making the decisions for me. 
That was for my best, I knew, but still I wished they would have 
helped me realize one thing earlier. Maybe I could have at least 
changed that tiny, yet so important aspect of our lives.
	The graveyard was enveloped in silence, even the crow had 
stopped its shrill voice filling the area in almost periodically 
fashion.
	"Take me to Time."
	And the words shattered the silence like a thunderclap that had 
split Earth itself apart. Agitated the lone graveyard's guardian began 
crowing violently as if somehow completely understanding the impact of 
these words. I could swear Yue almost tumbled backwards, his eyes 
flashing in fearful understanding and... I didn't know, I was never 
really good with emotions, after all.
	Kero-chan on the other hand was ready to explode, a myriad of 
emotion playing over his tiny face I didn't even try to categorize. He 
opened his mouth to speak, probably a lecture already on his lips, but 
closed it again at the desperately pleading look I send him. I could 
see a silent war going on inside of him and it was showing outside as 
well in the tremors shaking the tiny body.
	"How do you know about...?" Yue trailed off, his voice with a 
note of anguish. Surely this had to seem like a déjà vu to him. Just 
like Clow, now me. The circumstances were different but in the end 
he... they would lose me as they lost their previous master.
	I had a dream last night. I hadn't had prophetic dreams in quite 
some time, not even when the true horror begun. The dream hadn't been 
really prophetic either, more like a revelation, the key to a door, 
the last door, the final way out. A tempting way, wrought with more 
perils and hardships as seemed to be worth the trouble. But there was 
nothing left that would make it a risk. This WAS my last chance.
	That is not what I said, I don't think the how really mattered 
to them anyway. Instead I focused on the two sprites again, wishing 
that I wouldn't have to explain my reasoning. I had never seen them as 
startled and frightened before which left me to believe that they 
hadn't exactly known my intent after all. But even though they didn't 
know the intent, the reasoning behind it was not lost on them. And 
while they denied me a lot of things they believed not to be in favor 
of my happiness, there was not a sliver of resistance now, as they 
spoke as one, "As you wish, Mistress."
	I felt the power swirling around me. A beautiful twilight 
wrapping me in a cocoon. Reality was being bend all around me as 
ancient seals and powerful wards were unlocked by the duo's powers. It 
was as my dream had told me. Alone I would have never been able to 
break through, only Light and Dark held the key.
	"Wait, let me go with you!" I heard Kero-chan shouting as the 
world slowly faded out around me.
	"I will go as well!" added Yue fiercely.
	I smiled, sadness and joy mingling. They had been so loyal to 
me. Especially Yue who had always seemed to regret choosing a new 
master albeit caring a lot about me. They had always been by my side, 
supporting me, no matter what. That was why I couldn't accept that 
offer.
	"I'm sorry, Kerberos, Yue. The consequences would be to dire for 
anyone else to experience." I looked at them through the haze of now 
multi-colored light and managed - for a tiny moment - to bring 
conviction to the smile in my face as I wiped away a tear from my 
face. "Don't worry," I almost whispered, "everything will surely be 
alright."

******************************

	The shift was rather swift and I was surprised by how gentle the 
method of transport had been. Somehow, from the importance indicated 
by the heavy warding I had felt, I had expected a far rougher ride 
than that. Opening my eyes I mused that one without magic sight or 
senses would probably think they were still... in-between. But I could 
tell we had long left the pathway to this ancient chamber where one of 
the most powerful forces lay hidden, concealed, sealed so that it 
could never be used by anyone or anything. The repercussions were far 
too dangerous.
	"Are you certain that is what you wish," asked Light, her voice 
thick with emotion as she stared ahead into the swirl of colors that 
seemed to be everywhere, making up every tiny inch of the chamber. I 
could feel the edges but I couldn't quite perceive it.
	"Even Clow deemed Time to dangerous to ever be used," Dark added 
softly. "He couldn't destroy the card after creating it, so he sealed 
it away." Dark turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder. Her eyes 
were unusually thick with emotion. "Even if you are stronger than he 
ever was, there is no guarantee your wish will be granted. Time will 
choose whether to obey or not. You cannot force it."
	I smiled ruefully. "If all that I've done so far was not enough 
to prepare me for this moment, then I have no right to be your 
Mistress." Closing my eyes, I held onto a single image from not long 
ago, the one thing that motivated me to do this, that left me no 
choice in the matter. "She's always believed in me," I said quietly. 
"They all did. I will put this right. I HAVE TO put this right. If it 
means sacrificing myself in the process, so be it."
	I felt Dark pull away and opened my eyes to see her join Light a 
few steps ahead. "Very well," her opposite said and I could swear I 
saw a few tears glitter in her eyes. A small pang in my heart made me 
shudder. They loved me so much. Not out of respect or fear of my power 
as with Clow, but because I had always treated them as friends. They 
felt my sadness, my anguish at the loss I experienced and even more 
so... I knew without a doubt that they would support my decision 
without hesitation. This would be my biggest challenge. But I wasn't 
completely alone after all.
	Suddenly the kaleidoscope of colors seemed to shift and then 
parted, like a giant veil pulled back. My senses flared violently, 
overloaded with the onslaught of reactions, the enormous power I felt 
from the presence floating in midair before me was hard to actually 
grasp. I could feel the magic radiating with a magnificence in which 
even Light and Dark, even Kerberors and Yue, simply paled.
	Firming my resolve I stepped forward, the key still clasped in 
my right hand floated upwards over my outstretched palm. An almost 
eerie calm began to settle in my heart and even when the sprite-like 
figure above me turned a challenging gaze towards me, I only shortly 
stilled to return the gaze. We both knew why I was here and we both 
knew that I would not turn back now.
	"Key," I started to chant the familiar phrase, my voice firm and 
strong, "that hides the power of the stars! Reveal your true power to 
me! I, Sakura, command you by contract! RELEASE!"
	With a flare of power the key expanded, grew in size until it 
became a staff longer than myself, a golden star rested on top of it. 
I could feel the magic running through it. If there was one thing that 
I had really gotten good at over the years, then it was mastering the 
power inside of myself. Yet it had not been enough at the moment it 
mattered. This time I would succeed though. I would not fail, I could 
not fail. I had to succeed!
	Time didn't bother asking questions or trying to scare me away. 
I barely had time to erect a defense but felt it torn to pieces by 
forces far beyond my comprehension. I staggered as my whole body was 
assaulted by waves of temporal magic, threatening to literally tear me 
apart. I sank to one knee, stunned, grasping tightly onto the staff. 
It was hard to concentrate, hard to form a plan of attack. How could I 
have been so foolish? I should have made a plan, I should have 
anticipated that Time couldn't be beaten by willpower alone. Time was 
a force nearly untouchable. What could the worldly elements at my 
disposal do against it?
	Memories began crashing into my mind, too many to count or pick 
out a single one. Fond memories, sad memories, happy times, hard 
times. One moment though stood out like a brightly-lit Tokyo Tower 
over nighttime Tokyo. Tomoyo in my arms, dying. Syaoran was already 
gone, protecting us heroically but at the end even that was in vain. I 
hadn't had much time to grief for him but the memory still stung 
painfully, yet the memory of Tomoyo was simply overwhelming because 
too many emotions were caught up in it.
	*I am glad to die in Sakura's arms...*
	I hadn't been quite sure if I had really heard those words at 
first because the shock was too big and my disbelief to great. 
However, they had been there. And it had been that moment I 
understood. It had been that moment I understood everything. The 
realization had slammed into me like a bullet train at full speed and 
it HURT. Kami-sama, it still hurt and would never stop hurting. My 
mind had been weighed down and drowned by the feelings of shame and 
guilt, the terrible injustice I had done my best friend. I had been 
ignorant, even when I grew up, I never saw it.
	Maybe I never wanted to see it. Tomoyo continued giving and 
giving. I knew something was bothering her but she'd never let me 
know, always brushed it aside. And what had I done? I had lived out my 
fairytale - that Tomoyo had so carefully helped crafting - right in 
front of her eyes. Whenever I had a problem with Syaoran I went to 
her, not knowing what I did to her. Yes, she wanted me happy and 
sincerely thought I was. I wasn't even disagreeing. I was happy. I 
loved Syaoron. But was that fair to Tomoyo? Was it even necessary to 
ask that question?
	I could not give up! I had to make this right again!
	The pressure began to dim and my eyes snapped open. All the 
Sakura Cards were surrounding me in a circle, even Light and Dark had 
joined them again. They were struggling to hold Time's power back and 
I could feel their struggle but also their souls joining with mine, 
fueling my determination as much as they shared my pain. Struggling to 
stand again, I focused my will, staring up at Time who impassively 
stared back, yet there was something... expectant.
	*Time cannot be forced.*
	Did that mean the card had to willingly choose to grant my 
request? How was I supposed to do that? Was there some key? Some 
particular aspect that needed to be met? Was it even worth pondering? 
I had made my decision and I would go through with it. I was the 
strongest mage in the world, I had to be able to do it!
	"Everything will surely be alright."
	That was my magic phrase. However, it had been Tomoyo who had 
fueled it. It was ironic actually. Only now that she was gone, I 
realized that it held little meaning without her here. How could 
everything be alright with Tomoyo gone? That had been another of the 
bittersweet realizations at that moment when I held her dying form in 
my arms. I did love Syaroan, Tomoyo hadn't been wrong there. However, 
she had made one crucial mistake. I did love her too. Not as a best 
friend but more. I needed her to be there, support me whenever I 
needed it. And I could always count on her to actually be there. Even 
after the engagement was official and the wedding announced, she still 
staid. Regardless of how it must have pained her.
	Yet, while I loved Syaroan, there was simply no way he could 
compare to Tomoyo. No, I didn't mean that I loved him less because I 
certainly didn't. The feelings for the two of them were different and 
couldn't just be compared. However, there was one thing that set them 
apart. While I loved Syaroan and he loved me, he didn't need me. 
Tomoyo did need me. And - as bitter as it sounded - I didn't need 
Syaoran nearly as much as I needed Tomoyo. I never wanted to make a 
choice between them, however, this simple and at the same time 
astonishing realization made it all so much easier this morning, when 
I made my decision after the dream. It was hard and I wished I 
wouldn't have to, yet there was only that one path to take now.
	The different path.
	This would hurt people, it would hurt Syaoran and it hurt me 
already to do this to him. However, there simply was no other 
alternative. I could try to do it all again, preventing their deaths, 
but that wasn't fair to them either. Especially not to Tomoyo. She 
would continue to give and give, completely missing in her selfless 
love the one possibility that her own happiness might have had a 
chance to be fulfilled in the process.
	A memory of Tomoyo with a look of utter faith in her eyes, 
telling me that she knew I would always be there to save her, flashed 
through my mind.
	Rooting my wand firmly into the ground, I stood unyielding 
against the magical storm of temporal energy around the circle of 
cards. I didn't need words now. Without a single command uttered the 
cards spread out. The non-element cards formed a wider outer circle. 
Woody, Earthy, Fiery, Windy and Watery positioned themselves at the 
edges of the outer ring, thin lines of magic binding them together in 
a five-pointed star. Finally Light and Dark settled to my left and 
right, completing the perfect circle.
	A white flare of magic engulfed the circle and expanded, pushing 
back against the enormous energies as I stared up at Time, trying to 
focus all my feelings in one last action. I wouldn't need more. Just 
this one thing. I had been so selfish already in my life, especially 
compared to Tomoyo. This wasn't for me. This was for her. I needed to 
set this right, to give back the happiness I had so carelessly taken 
without ever asking for the price.
	"RETURN TO YOUR ORIGINAL FORM..."
	The star on the wand flared brighter than I've ever seen it do 
before. Time had been always in motion ever since I laid my eyes on 
it, flowing through shapes, positions, ages... Now it stilled for a 
short moment, purple eyes gazing at me in now unconcealed expectation.
	"And grant me this one wish," I whispered even though my voice 
still echoed clear and loud in the surreal chamber.
	"CLOW CARD!"
	White and golden light mingled, turning into a thick pillar of 
magical energy as I thrust my staff upwards, the wand touching the 
sprite form of the card. I closed my eyes at the brightness of the 
light and so I could only hear the whisper, like the wind rustling 
through leaves or water gently flowing in a lake, yet as vivid and 
passionate as an inferno of flames or as shattering as an earthquake.
	"Granted."
	And then everything fell into darkness.

******************************

	Gradually I became aware of sounds and other sensations around 
me. My head was still spinning as if I was on a sugar overdose or 
something. There was the soft, somewhat familiar ticking sound of a 
clock and the light in the room was still rather dim, so it had to be 
early morning, probably before dawn. I was sitting on the ground for 
some reason and my body felt stiff, tired and something was really off 
about it...
	I blinked my eyes slowly, channeling a bit of magic to relieve 
the fuzziness in my mind enough to get my bearings.
	My room.
	My old room.
	I glanced down at myself, noticing an almost finished teddy in 
my tiny hands.
	Oh.
	Well, I guess it worked. I was baffled though why exactly I 
actually... remembered. My initial plan had been to move back to that 
moment and act as something like a... guide for my younger self. Then 
again, I have no idea how time travel really is supposed to work - and 
there probably are not many people you can ask about it. Also, I knew 
there would be consequences - this might be just one of them - and I 
had learned that every Clow Card had had a different idea of how to 
use their magic in their own special way.
	It... worked.
	The realization came a bit slowly. My mind still a little 
detached as the reality sank in. A soft smile tugged at my lips.
	It really did work!
	Alright, maybe not exactly as I planned but... I had been given 
a second chance.
	"Sakura?"
	I whipped my head around and saw Kero floating behind me a 
little uncertainly. He must have sensed something was off, probably 
the card's magic. As if on cue, there was a burst of light in front of 
me, startling Kero and making me look back. It was the Clow Card that 
fell out of midair into my waiting hands. Well, a Sakura Card now. The 
design had changed. I hadn't even tried to transform it but judged by 
the amount of magic I put into it...
	"Sakura?" Kero floated over my shoulder, looked down at the card 
and almost fainted.

******************************

	I'm not sure how long I stood there, letting my mind drift. I 
had barely ever seen Tomoyo practice since choir and cheerleading 
clubs usually crossed and also later in Junior High and High School I 
never really seemed to manage. I decided that was a real shame and 
from now on I would make it a habit whenever I could find the time. 
Entering the music hall of our school I had stopped, nearly freezing 
in the doorframe before remembering to close the door behind me in 
order to not disturb the practice. I had come in right in the middle 
of a slow, almost melancholic song and my eyes had sought out Tomoyo 
like a moth drawn to the flame.
	It had only been a couple of days in my old time that I lost her 
and Syaoran but it felt like a small eternity. I had always known that 
Tomoyo was flat out beautiful and thought it a shame that she didn't 
seem to have many suitors or always kindly refused them - due to 
reasons I was to blind to see. But God forgive me, she is gorgeous. 
Even now as a child the sight was breathtaking and somewhat ethereal. 
It didn't seem to be normal for such an angel to walk among us.
	And her voice, her voice. I had always loved her singing. 
Whether it was a slow, emotional song or something faster, more... 
vivid, Tomoyo somehow managed to meet the expectations perfectly.
	It was becoming a torture. I wanted to close my eyes and lose 
myself in the music, in the sweet voice of my best friend... and now 
suddenly so much more. Yet, I could not bring my eyes to leave her 
form for a single moment. I wondered if my reaction was a little silly 
but discarded the thought quickly. It had been living hell without 
Syaoran and Tomoyo there the last days.
	Speaking to Syaoran had been painful. At least I didn't have 
trouble with getting to him at the last possible second this time. 
What Kero-chan had told me a couple of years ago - relatively seen of 
course - was proving to be true. The strength of one's magic was bound 
to the spirit, the heart, and was fueled by the soul. The transition 
into this younger body would probably only have the side effects that 
my body would have to accustom to the strain of channeling the kind of 
magic I had developed over the years.
	Syaroan had been... understanding. Hurt... no, disappointed, but 
still understanding. I'm not sure if he knew about Tomoyo's feelings 
but considering how much everyone around me seemed to know such things 
before I could even begin to suspect something was there, I thought it 
a distant possibility. Saying "no" was still difficult to do because I 
hated to lie, I didn't even really lie to him. All that I could say 
was that I did love him but that there was someone else who I loved 
equally and who needed me more. We had promised to stay in contact and 
that was it. I would always treasure the memories of the future that I 
left behind, the times spent together, but I had made my decision. I 
had been living out most of my fairytale and I couldn't help but think 
it selfish after the recent events and after realizing Tomoyo's 
feelings. This time I vowed to be the selfless one.
	Tomoyo had been so lost in singing that now, nearing the end of 
the song, she almost stumbled over a note as her gaze briefly gazed 
up. Her blue eyes briefly blinked in wonder - probably wondering why I 
was here and not at the bus station, seeing Syaroan off. I held her 
gaze until the final lyrics were sung. For once I could clearly read 
Tomoyo. She was confused. Usually she always had been able to read me 
like a book. However, now Tomoyo had virtually no idea what was going 
on. I had to suppress a giggle.
	The song ended and a pause was called, giving me the opportunity 
I waited for. Waiting by the door, I followed Tomoyo's every step as 
she slowly approached my position. I admit I was a little nervous, 
tiny butterflies were doing flip flops in my stomach but I managed to 
control my nervousness. This is why I had begun this after all. To set 
things right. Time had granted me the opportunity, now it was up to me 
to use it. But had I really interpreted all this right? What if I 
ended up making a terrible mistake and once again totally understood 
someone's feelings for what they were not? What if Tomoyo really just 
loved me as a devoted friend? What if...?
	Gah! Get a grip, girl!
	I couldn't have been wrong. I never felt so completely sure 
about something. Besides, even if for some weird reason I had 
misjudged the other girl's feelings, I wasn't doing this out of pity. 
I would NEVER do that to anyone. Tomoyo wouldn't want that and I 
didn't think I could live a lie. This decision was based on the 
newfound knowledge just as much as on my own jumbled feelings that had 
finally began to make sense even to my usually dense mind. It had 
taken losing Tomoyo but I did understand now and Tomoyo was here. So, 
even if I had gotten her feelings wrong, I would love her nonetheless, 
unconditionally. Even if I had to be a selfless, supporting friend. 
Because that is what she had been to me all this time and she deserved 
no less from me now.
	Mind and heart set, I pushed away from the wall, to meet the 
lavender-haired girl who still wore an expression of extreme 
puzzlement. But now there was also worry and something else I couldn't 
quite decipher.
	"Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked tentatively, sounding as if she 
wasn't sure if it was really me. Then it hit me. She wasn't sure. As I 
said before Tomoyo always seemed to know me better than I did myself 
and she must have noticed the change. Physically I might still have 
been a ten-year old but mentally...
	I met her eyes again, not bothering to try and hold back 
anymore. A moment of silence followed, neither daring to broach the 
subject. I was certain she knew that despite the difference I still 
was Sakura, otherwise she would have said so already. Finally Tomoyo's 
gaze turned worried again. "Did you see Li-kun? I tried to call you 
but..."
	"I did," I said simply.
	Tomoyo smiled that sweet smile of hers that with what I knew now 
left me wondering how much of it was fake and how much genuine. She 
was still a kid but even at this age Tomoyo always had been mature far 
beyond her years. "I'm glad. So, did you tell him your feelings?"
	"I did," I answered again. Taking a deep breath I stepped a 
little closer to the other girl, my hands still hid behind my back, so 
that the young heiress couldn't see what I was holding. "And I do love 
him." Tomoyo's smile faltered for a very, very tiny moment. I would 
have never seen it if I hadn't known what to look for. I was certain 
now. "But there's someone I love just as much and who needs me more 
than he does."
	Tomoyo tilted her head, again looking confused, there was a 
glimmer of... hope in her eyes but it instantly vanished again. Well, 
not for long, I would make sure of that. "Who's that?"
	Ah, I didn't know that my friend could be so cute when she was 
baffled about something. Probably because I had rarely ever seen her 
like this. She almost never was surprised by anything. I smiled at 
her, for the first time in days - maybe even weeks or months - a 
radiant smile was brought to my lips and it was all directed at 
Tomoyo. I could swear the other girl nearly fainted. "You see," I 
continued, wishing nothing more than to plunge ahead and confess but 
needing to clear this up, "if it comes down to it, it hurt knowing 
that Syaoran-kun left but both of us eventually can live without the 
other. Syaoran doesn't necessarily need me to give his life meaning 
and neither do I need him for that. However," I fixed the girl in 
front of me with an intent gaze, "I don't think I can live without 
you. Can you?"
	Tomoyo's voice was thick with emotion and I could see tears 
glistering in her eyes, a rather rare thing but I was certain they 
were more joyful than sad. "What... What do you mean?" she whispered 
softly.
	Finally bringing around my hands I held out the neatly-crafted 
bear to her. My skills in sewing had improved a little and so I had 
found it easier to finish it... not to mention I did it a lot faster, 
leaving me enough time to talk to Syaroan and get here. Trying to 
convey all the honesty and emotion that I had tried to understand for 
so long and now finally did, I answered earnestly. "It means I decided 
that I want you to be my special person, Tomoyo-chan."
	For a long moment the other girl just stood there, stunned and 
lost for words. When she finally reached out to take the bear from my 
hands, her own hands were trembling and I felt myself almost drowning 
in the swirl of blue eyes, moist with tears, resembling a whirlpool of 
emotions. I have never seen such joy in my friend's eyes. Not once. 
"Can... Can I name it Sakura?"
	I smiled at her warmly. "No, you can't. I insist on it." And 
with that I stepped forward, nearly crushing my new namesake as I 
enveloped Tomoyo in a crushing embrace, full of all the love, the 
intensity of how much I had missed her. It was a little awkward for me 
at first since I was still trying to get used to being ten years again 
but I quickly relaxed in the close contact, cherishing the relief and 
the incredible joy crashing through me like a tidal wave.
	"I love you, Tomoyo-chan," I whispered, my head buried in the 
silky, lavender hair I had always adored and envied a little.
	Tomoyo sniffled a few times before she managed to reply. "I love 
you, too. Even if you are not exactly my Sakura-chan."
	I smiled faintly and a bit rueful, pushing her away gently to 
hold her on arm's length. Making sure she was looking at me, I softly 
said, "I am your Sakura. A bit older than I should probably be, but 
being here with you makes me happier than I have been in a long time. 
Because of you, I can smile again. You are right, I am not totally the 
innocent girl you knew anymore but one thing I will always be..." 
Leaning forward I planted a feather-light peck on the lips of a 
pleasantly surprised Tomoyo who looked like she was going to light the 
entire building soon, judged by the bright glow of utter bliss in her 
face. I knew more wouldn't seem quite right. We were still kids, 
physically, after all. "I will always be yours, as long as you want to 
have me and even if you don't."
	This time it was Tomoyo who pulled me into a hug without meeting 
much resistance. "I will always be yours as well. I never doubted you 
were Sakura and in the end it doesn't matter that you are a little 
different. I love everything about you, that never has been a 
question. Younger or older, it doesn't matter."
	We stood there, right next to the door, locked in a tight 
embrace, not caring about the world around us or the stares of some of 
the other students. It didn't matter right now. Our hearts were one 
for this timeless moment, finally at peace and where they always 
longed to be. Yes, my decision had been the right one after all. I 
hadn't lied to Tomoyo either. I knew that with her by my side, I could 
gain back some of the innocence and freedom of my youth and with time 
the memories of the last days would dwindle to nothing more than a 
long nightmare that faded away gradually after waking. There would be 
consequences for my actions. I knew that much and Kero-chan had 
reminded me again and again after he found out but I was sure with my 
best... my girlfriend - another honest smile - by my side, together, 
we could face it all. After all, WE had a magic phrase.
	Everything will surely be alright.

THE END
(will possibly be continued)

Author's Notes

Well, that was fun. I seem to be getting better at short stories 
lately. Again, as I said in the beginning, it might be a little rough. 
A lot of my impression on the characters (especially Sakura since its 
her POV) came from reading the manga once and from some fanfics. I am 
still trying to build a clear picture of the charas in my mind.
I want to thank Heather (from Amazoness Duo) and G.P. again for their 
wonderful story "Dear Sakura". That had been the first CCS fic I read 
with almost the full knowledge of the manga in mind and I believe it 
will always influences my opinion of the characters in a way. I 
wouldn't say this was what prompted me to write this, but it helped 
immensely.

Anyway, I am aware that there are a lot of open questions. Like, what 
did happen in the original timeline? Or what are the consequences for 
using/capturing Time? Why has it been sealed away in the first place? 
I did leave all those unanswered. First of all it would have been too 
much to fit into a short story and then... it leaves me opportunities 
for sequels. :) *looks over shoulder* Maia (my muse) is probably 
already planning... *sigh*

That's it then. Feedback is always appreciated. Email is in the header 
(or probably linked anyway wherever you find this). I appreciate 
constructive criticism, positive or negative, but will never refuse 
simple feedback (like, "Liked the story").

Ja ne, yours

Matthias