We’d like to thank Boco the Chokobo, because without his help, this story would never have been finished, especially not in time for ChibiUsa’s birthday. ^-^ Farewell By the Amazoness Quartet ChibiUsa sighed anxiously. It was a beautiful day outside, but that was far from her mind. A certain dark haired girl was the focus of it, but that wasn't anything new. She was waiting for Hotaru to finish getting dressed so they could leave for Hotaru's father's beach house where they'd spend the next few days together. Alone this time. ChibiUsa couldn't help but smile at the idea of being alone with Hotaru. She'd already had a birthday party earlier today with the others and now she'd be able to enjoy the rest of it with the one person she wished to share everything with. A wailing noise snapped her out of her thoughts. It took her a moment to realize it was the sound of a child crying. Knowing that both of their twin daughters that had come back from the future were somewhere in the house, it had to be something wrong for one of them. Heading down the stairs quickly, she tried to pinpoint where the sobbing was coming from. Selene looked up teary eyed at ChibiUsa. The future princess kneeled down worriedly next to the younger girl. “Selene, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Selene just wiped at her eyes tearfully, taking a shuddering breath before looking up at her the woman that would one day be her mother. “ChibiUsa-mama, do you really love Hotaru-mama?” she asked in almost a hushed whisper. ChibiUsa was taken aback. Why did the little girl ask that? Was there any question? Brushing a hand through her pink hair, she just blinked a few times. “Of course I do. She’s everything to me.” Selene sniffled, wiping her eyes shakily with the back of her hand. “Re…Really?” The pink haired girl nodded quickly to dispel the younger girl’s fears, wiping a tear from her cheek. She smiled gently at Selene. “Really. She’s everything to me. I love your Hotaru-mama with all my heart.” This seemed to appease the younger girl, drawing forth a small smile from her. ChibiUsa smiled softly, but something still concerned her. Something felt wrong… “Why did you ask?” The dark haired odangoed girl rubbed at her eyes with small fists before looking up at ChibiUsa again. “An angel told me. She was really pretty, with pink hair kinda like yours, but it was past her shoulders. She was all shimmery and had a white dress on that was really long and pretty, too. She said that it wasn’t enough.” “That what wasn’t enough?” ChibiUsa asked encouragingly, wanting to know what had gotten the younger girl so upset. “That you didn’t love her enough…” Selene said quietly, looking down. ChibiUsa shook her head emphatically. “No, that’s absurd. I love Hotaru more than anything. How could I not love her enough?” she demanded, her heart starting to ache from the very idea. “I.. I don’t know…” Selene barely got out, on the verge of tears. ChibiUsa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. It was nothing, just a figment of Selene’s imagination. Sure it was kind of odd, but that was just not even worth worrying about. Of course she loved Hotaru enough. She slowly smiled again, hugging the smaller girl. “It’s going to be alright, Selene. Whatever it was, it was wrong. I love Hotaru with all my heart.” ChibiUsa’s words reassured both herself and Selene. Smiling a little brighter, ChibiUsa tilted her head to the side. “Want to get some ice cream? We can forget all about this.” Selene jumped up and down excitedly. “Hai!! Thanks, ChibiUsa-mama! You’re the best!” She hugged ChibiUsa tightly, already starting to forget her odd vision. They were finally alone. That was the first thought that ran through ChibiUsa’s head as she walked hand in hand with Hotaru to the beach house. In the distance, the two could hear Haruka’s car driving off. She’d be there to pick them up in a few days. In the meantime, that left the lovers alone with each other at the beach house. No children, no schoolwork, no responsibility. Juts the wonderful feeling of being together. They had come out here to be alone, a birthday present Hotaru had given her so they could spend the next few days together without a care in the world. ChibiUsa smiled brightly at the dark haired girl, squeezing her hand slightly. The pale girl’s hand squeezed back as Hotaru turned to her with a smile. As they stood in front of the doors, ChibiUsa felt an almost overwhelming sense of fear and regret overtake her. As if her whole life would change by walking through those doors. She leaned against Hotaru, holding her arm tightly. “ChibiUsa-chan?” Hotaru looked at her worriedly. Her usually cheerful complexion was now deathly pale. Hotaru’s arm started to ache from the death grip ChibiUsa had on it. The raven haired girl started to panic, barely holding herself in check for ChibiUsa’s sake. This was so unlike the vibrant future princess. What could be so horribly wrong? Taking a deep, soothing breath, ChibiUsa smiled calmly at Hotaru, suppressing the wave of emotions that had passed over her. “Its nothing. I just haven’t been getting much sleep lately because of the twins. And Kousagi’s been keeping me up whenever I’m at my house, so that’s it.” She giggled at the skeptical look Hotaru threw her. “Really, its nothing. You worry too much, Hota-chan. Let’s just enjoy ourselves. You and me.” Beautiful crimson eyes gazed brightly at her as the future princess’s arm went around Hotaru’s waist. Hotaru felt herself relaxing in ChibiUsa’s grasp. If ChibiUsa was okay, then there really wasn’t anything for her to be worrying about. The nervousness slowly started to ebb away, replaced by a warm feeling her heart as her violet eyes befell the pink haired goddess before her. Hotaru smiled softly. “Hai, its your birthday, so if that’s what you want to do, I’m all for it.” Leaning forward, her lips lightly brushed ChibiUsa’s. “Happy birthday, Odango-chan.” “I can’t think of a better way to spend my birthday,” ChibiUsa said, grinning. ChibiUsa rolled over for what had to be the eighth time that night. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get to sleep. And that usually wasn't a problem for her whenever she had Hotaru right beside her. Their clothes lay scattered on the floor, their bodies entangled under the sheets. ChibiUsa held the frail girl close, the feel of her bare skin reminding her of the passionate moment they'd shared not long ago. The raven haired girl, who had enough trouble sleeping normally, was fast asleep next to her. She was tired after what they'd done, but she couldn't get to sleep. Closing her eyes just made matters worse. She sighed, her hands covering her face in frustration. Why was it bothering her? She knew she loved Hotaru, that's all that mattered. So why couldn't she get to sleep? All day, Hotaru had been pretending nothing was wrong, trying to hide her worry while ChibiUsa had been dancing around the subject and trying to reassure Hotaru that everything was alright. Neither had been able to enjoy themselves because of how she was acting. Sitting up in bed, the pink haired girl slowly disentangled herself from her sleeping lover. She knew she wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight. Her thoughts in a jumble, ChibiUsa slipped off the bed, her toes moving against the soft feel of the carpet. Tilting her head to the side, ChibiUsa gazed at the raven haired girl alone in the bed for a what felt like an eternity. Her fingers gingerly followed the contours of Hotaru’s beautiful face, brushing past her soft lips, warm cheeks, and finally through midnight black hair. She leaned down, brushing some of Hotaru’s dark hair back. Her lips gently pressed against Hotaru’s as her fingers stroked down to the pale girl’s neck. Something wet rolled down ChibiUsa’s cheek down to Hotaru’s, startling the pink haired girl. Slowly pulling away, a hand went to her face. Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m crying? Why am I crying?” she asked herself in a daze. The pink haired girl balled up her fists in frustration, shutting her eyes tightly as a wave of sadness swept through her body. An icy pit formed in her stomach as more tears started falling. ‘I’m supposed to be happy. I’ve got everything I could ever want. I have you, Hota-chan. I love you.” A sob punctuated her declaration of love, her hand wiping at the still forming tears in her crimson eyes. Looking down at Hotaru, ChibiUsa’s fingers lightly brushed her cheek again. Part of her wanted to wake the sleeping angel, to try to tell her the jumble of emotions going through her. But she couldn’t bring herself to wake the raven haired girl up. Each time she’d try, she stopped herself just before she could. What would Hotaru think? She wouldn’t think… ChibiUsa pulled her hand away from Hotaru’s pale skin as if burned. Selene’s words burst into her mind. ‘That you didn’t love her enough…’ She shook her head violently, her hands going through her pink hair as a lonely wail escaped her lips. “That can’t be it. It can’t be….” She desperately wanted to shake Hotaru awake, to tell her just how much she loved her, to here Hotaru tell her she knows, that she’s always known. But ChibiUsa still couldn’t bring herself to disturb the raven haired girl’s peaceful slumber. So often, Hotaru would look tormented in her sleep. This would just ruin one of the few restful slumbers that Hotaru’s had. “I’m being selfish, Hota-chan. I’ll be okay. I can handle this.” With that, the future princess headed out the door of their bedroom, padding across the plush carpet. At first she didn’t know where she was going, but she quickly realized the path she was taking. The Mirror. Of course! How could she have been so blind? Michiru had lent ChibiUsa her hand mirror for their trip to the beach house, telling her the talisman would keep them safe. The mirror could show the truth, no matter how hidden it may be. She could easily look into that to see how deep her feelings for Hotaru ran. After proving them to her satisfaction, she could be off to bed and cuddling with her firefly. She grinned happily as she made her way to the mirror, lying unused on a table in the living room. ChibiUsa felt almost dizzy as she picked up the mirror. It was cold to the touch. Something in the back of her mind told her to put it down, that how dare she question their love. Afterall, it didn’t matter that Hotaru’s hair wasn’t pink. She wet her parched lips nervously, the icy pit in her stomach returning a hundred fold. Holding the mirror up, she gazed into it. Rather than a direct reflection, the image in the mirror was of her as a princess. The truth. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the warnings in the back of her head, ChibiUsa concentrated on the mirror. “Show me the depths of my love.” She ran, ignoring the sharp pain of rocks scraping against the skin of her bare feet, ignoring everything as she tried to get further and further away. Her hair, let down from its normal odango style for the night, trailed behind her past her shoulders. Tears blinded her, blurring her vision, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. Her frantic thoughts swirled about in her mind like a whirlwind, jumbled beyond coherency other than the deep pain she felt in her heart. As she ran along the rocky cliff face, barely even realizing where she was. She wiped at her eyes desperately, stinging tears dripping wetly down her cheeks. ‘Why?! Why?’ she thought, over and over again, begging for an answer, any answer to the pain she felt. Her heart ached deeply, as if she’d been cut open by The Senshi of Death and Rebirth herself. Was that how she truly felt? Was that what was to happen? She didn’t return Hotaru’s feelings with half the blaze, half the sheer strength that Hotaru had in her love for her. ChibiUsa shuddered, feeling cold inside. As if she’d been drowning in a freezing river for so long and had only now opened her eyes. What could she say to Hotaru? Anything she could say would only hurt her, ChibiUsa was sure. She hugged herself tightly, her small body wracked by sobs as she continued her aimless running, her only thoughts to escape the horror of her thoughts. So intent was she upon her fleeing that she never noticed where she was running. The rocky ledge started to give way beneath her bare feet, a breathless scream trapped forever in her lips as she fell. The princess barely felt the impact, everything starting to fade out as she hit the shore below. She lay there, tears still running down her cheeks, not even realizing she was taking her dying breath. “Taru…” “ChibiUsa-chan!! ChibiUsa-chan, where are you?! Please, please come back to me, ChibiUsa-chan….” Hotaru slumped to her knees in defeat, her dark skirt getting sullied by the wet sand on the beach. Last night, ChibiUsa had seemed so upset about something. She’d gone out to look for the pink haired future princess in the dark, but she was nowhere to be found. Hotaru had hoped that she’d gone back to the beach house, but no such luck. She had finally cried herself to sleep when she had gotten back to their empty bed. Waking up, she had the false hope that she’d be in ChibiUsa’s arms and that everything would be alright again. Now she had to wonder if things would ever be alright from then on. Her black tights and dark clothes barely kept back the biting cold wind that blew past her. Icy knives raked her face as she stumbled forward, wiping at her eyes with her long sleeve. “ChibiUsa-chan…” She wanted to give up, to go back inside the warm house and cry herself back to sleep. She hadn’t slept much the night before, so why not? What could she hope to find out here? Something inside her pushed her on, spurring her forward. Standing up again, the raven haired girl weakly made her way along the beach. She nearly lost her footing in the wet sand, but kept going after steadying herself. She trudged on and on, the lapping of the waves and the whistling of the wind the only sounds around her. About to collapse from exhaustion, the raven haired girl’s attention was caught by something up ahead. Something pink. She squinted, trying to make out what it could be, praying that it was the girl she sought. She’d soon come to regret that as her prayers were answered. As she ran to the other girl, she quickly noticed that ChibiUsa wasn’t moving. Her pink hair was moving back and forth as the wind played with it. Her normally immaculate white nightgown was stained with the brown of the wet sand and streaks of crimson. Her body was lying in a heap, looking like a rag doll that had been thrown aside. Hotaru ran as fast as she could, her heart catching in her chest. In her haste, her foot caught on a rock, forcing her to tumble to the ground. She got up and pushed on, despite the intense pain in her twisted ankle. It couldn’t rival the pain in her heart. “ChibiUsa-chan!!!” she cried out, almost expecting the pink haired girl to sit up. Hot tears poured down her cheeks as she fell to her knees besides the prone future princess. “ChibiUsa-chan, get up. Please, get up,” the dark haired girl sobbed as her arms went around the cold body of her one true love. She held ChibiUsa close, a tear falling onto ChibiUsa’s cheek. The pink haired girl’s face looked almost the same as it had the night before. Her large crimson eyes were glassy and looking up at Hotaru, her normally vibrant cheeks now pale. Hotaru clutched onto ChibiUsa in her grief. She felt as if her heart had been torn from her chest. As if a piece of her, the most important piece, had been taken from her. “ChibiUsa-chan… Don’t leave me alone… I’m scared to be alone.. I need you with me, ChibiUsa-chan… I need you…” she barely managed to get out through heart wrenching sobs. The painful realization that her lover was now dead kept trying to impose itself on her mind, but she clung to the hope that she’d be okay, that she would get up in her arms, returning the embrace. Hotaru stayed that way for a long time, ignoring everything around her as she held the dead princess tightly against her. “Its like she’s asleep… She’s so pretty when she’s asleep… Its like you’re taking a nap, ChibiUsa-chan. You sleep well, and I’ll be here when you wake up… I’ll always be here when you awake. Because…” The dark haired girl looked intently at the lost love in her arms, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “I love you.” A few hours later, a blue sports car stopped in front of the beach house. A woman with sandy blonde hair stepped out of the car, holding her jacket tightly around her as the sea breeze came in. Smiling to herself, she reached back in the car and pulled out the last of ChibiUsa’s birthday presents, lovingly wrapped in a deep violet wrapping paper with black lace ribbons. Hotaru had forgotten the present she had been going to give ChibiUsa in her haste and Haruka hadn't found it in the back of her car until she was well back to the city. She'd decided to stop by the next day and return it to her daughter to give to the ChibiUsa. Cinching her jacket around her, the tall woman made her way to the door of the beach house and knocked on the door. “Hime-chan! Its me, Haruka-papa,” she said after a few moments. There was no answer. Haruka frowned and tried the door. She began to worry as the unlocked door opened. What could have happened to the two girls? She commanded herself to stop worrying. They were probably at the beach and left the door open for when they’d come back in. Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She instantly recognized it as Michiru’s mirror. It was lying on the floor near one of the tables in the living room as if someone had thrown in aside in a hurry. Haruka’s heart started beating faster as she quickly searched the beach house. Her surrogate daughter and the future princess were nowhere to be found. Rather than waste time panicking, the blonde woman rushed out of the house, intent on finding the two girls. Trudging out towards the beach, she couldn’t help but shiver as the biting wind increased. It was too cold to be swimming. They couldn’t be out here for that. Then why… Haruka shook her head. She wouldn’t allow herself to assume the worst yet. First things first. She had to find them. After what felt like hours of walking, but must have been considerably less, Haruka thought she heard a faint voice being carried by the wind. A voice filled with utter despair and hopelessness. A voice that had lost any of the joy and wonder life had to offer. At first, she thought it was only the wind, but the soft voice continued. Haruka finally caught sight of a girl dressed entirely in black, her rave hair being whipped around by the wind as she clutched onto something protectively. The blonde woman ran to her surrogate daughter, determined to make sure everything was okay. He stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the lifeless form of a once happy pink haired girl in Hotaru’s arms. “My God….” She gasped. Hotaru didn’t even look up, not noticing her Haruka-papa’s arrival. “So pretty when you sleep like this. And I’ll watch over you forever, my sleeping beauty….” Hotaru’s fingers gently brushed over ChibiUsa’s cold lips as she continued rambling semi-coherently. “Forever.” "It's so cold..." . Ever since what had happened, Hotaru kept a nearly steady monologue. The silence meant she was alone again.. always alone.. forever.. And she didn't want to be left alone. Not now, not ever. Everything that had happened.. it was like a whole new person. "It's not me. Silly. I'm watching myself.. like on a screen..." All around her, the room seemed bare, stripped of everything. Her normally dark room was even darker without the beautiful shining lamps to soften it. "But the lamps were too dangerous, ne, Michiru-mama? You wouldn't want me to break one and use the glass to slit my wrists. You want me to suffer.." The dark-haired girl, long out of tears, looked over everything she had left. The bed was bare, so she couldn't strangle herself with the sheets. Her beautiful lamps had been replaced by three solemn candles. She only had her books.. her only escape for so many years before was her only option now. Or.. That seemed a lifetime ago to the grief-stricken girl. "Oh, back then, no-one cared if I lived or I died.. Kaori-baka would've been GLAD to see me go. And.. if I'd died then... she wouldn't..." Closing her eyes tight and trying to remove the image from her mind, she thought over her options. Ever since her parents set up this suicide watch, after that first night alone, she'd had no privacy, not even a chance to mourn in peace. She'd just been almost locked in her room, from how they treated her outside it, and even then one of them would check on her every few minutes, even if she was asleep. All she had left were her books.. "They say history repeats.. I know.. I watched it.. over and over.. An endless loop. I was alone then.. I'm alone now.. oh, ChibiUsa-chan.. why couldn't I have died instead?" The desk was gone. The shelves, the table, the chairs - all taken out. All that was left were her books and her bed.. and the candles. Near a corner, the remains of her diary sat. She'd tried to communicate that way, writing everything using the stub of a pencil Setsuna-mama had finally agreed to give her. After the first hundred pages or so, she'd realized she wasn't making any sense at all, and questioned the point of it. But, then again, what were all of her diaries for? All the secrets, every little thing, kept in meticulous detail... "No-one could understand. I couldn't let them understnd. They'd see and they wouldn't understand.. the only person who could ever understand is dead. Saturn! Where are you now? If you're truly the Messiah, reigning over Death and Rebirth, then tell me why!" But, then, an idea came.. and in her broken mind, with its broken soul, living a lifeless shell in a grey world without even the comfort of trust, it made perfect sense. No-one would understand. So why let them try? She stood, shakily, blinking and wiping her bloodshot eyes. It would still be a few minutes at least, until someone checked on her. Praying it would be long enough, she set to work, seperating her books from her diaries and journals, her secrets.. Making a pile, she begin to organize it all, bit by bit, working slowly and carefully. It was almost time. Her work was interrupted by a knock at her door. "Hime-chan? Is everything okay?" It was Haruka-papa, come to make sure she hadn't died. Not responding, she waited for the blonde woman to open the door and check. "Hime-chan?" The door slowly creaked open, and Haruka stuck her head inside. "I know it's hard for you, Hime-chan. But we have to be sure." When Hotaru didn't even bother to look up, Haruka just sighed and shut the door again. Alone once more, the girl set her plan into motion. Tearing pages out, shredding some, pulling some into strips, leaving some notebooks whole, she prepared. All of her work, everything she had left, everything she was.. it was all here. And with a touch of the candle.. It took a minute or so to catch. Hotaru blew on the small fire, letting it grow at its own pace. She knew that the smoke alarm's batteries had been dead for weeks, and since everyone was asleep or downstairs, there'd be no-one to stop her. Page by page, she fed the fire.. whole years of her life, burning away. "It's warm, ChibiUsa-chan.. can you feel it? It's not like everything else.. This is how it has to be, now. If I can't die.. I'll make it so I was never around in the first place. Without these for people to remember me by, I'll just fade away. No-one cares but you, ChibiUsa-chan.. no-one.... They want me to live on, forget the past. Find someone to console me and love me. Be happy. I've never been happy, ChibiUsa-chan. I can't ever remember being happy. Not without you..." The flickering flames glittered, reflected in her sad, tired eyes.. so tired, so old.. dead. The fire spread to the floor, spread through the room. By now, it was quite obvious that the room was ablaze, if not the whole house. And Haruka, just now noticing the smell, was quick to run up and check on her dark-haired princess. Sirens could be heard, off in the distance.. a neighbor saw the flame, the firefighters would arrive soon. Haruka arrived just in time to pull the firefly from the heart of the fire before anything more than her hair and clothes were singed. The girl was unconscious, passed out from the lack of sleep and the fumes of the books' bindings as they caught. Two figures watched from the shadows. Children. It almost seemed they were part of the background.. a piece that doesn't quite fit, that everyone overlooks.. One spoke. Her voice quiet, almost detached. "Shisa?" "Yes, Selene?" "Do you think we went too far? I mean.." They watched, as their mother was revived by her Haruka-papa. As she was doomed to ever live, lifeless. "Yes, Selene." "Oh.. look, Shisa! I can see through us. We're fading.... Shisa?" "Yes, Selene?" "I am the wind.. look! Whoosh!" A gust of wind came, as the window was broken in by a firefighter. The two figures seemed to dissipate, with the smoke..