Author’s Notes: This is a Saint Tail story from Seira Mimori’s perspective. I’ve been wanting to deal with her thoughts on things for quite a while now. This isn’t the story I’d intended to write, but I’m happy with it. ^-^ Now if I can ever write a story about Seira & Meimi when they’re older, I’ll be happy. ^^;; A Thief in the Night by Amazoness Duo amazonessduo@hotmail.com It’s been such a long night. I should be sleeping right now, but I can’t. So here I am, Lord. Your loyal servant, Seira. I know I should be in bed. I have classes tomorrow and I promised Sister Abbess that I would help her sweep the grounds. But for some reason, I can’t sleep tonight. Whenever I close my eyes, I see her. I can’t put her out of my mind long enough to fade into a blissful sleep. It’s like her image has been burned into my eyelids. I toss and turn, seeing her smile. I hug my pillow tightly, wishing it were her there with me to qualm my waking nightmares. But I know she’s far away, having entirely different thoughts before passing into a deep slumber. And it’s a well deserved sleep. She has done your will, my Lord. She’s granted another person your protection by helping them as the mysterious thief, Saint Tail. So she can sleep the sleep of the just. Yet I only find myself caught in my blankets like a net, her voice whispering in my ear with every breeze that brushes past my window. I’m the one who convinced her to be Saint Tail. I send the hopes and prayers of those who have been wronged unto her. And because she trusts me, because she’s my friend, she will do anything she can to fulfil those wishes. All I can do is wait here for her, praying to you that she will be safe, wishing I could be there with her. But that is her role. As I have my own. So I am praying to you tonight, the moon sailing high above as I do, alone in the church. I pray not to get rid of the feelings inside of me, because I can’t imagine living without the love I feel for Meimi. I pray instead to help quell my chaotic thoughts, to soothe the stormy sea inside of me. So that I can try to find some tranquility in this endless night. The rest of the nuns are already asleep. They don’t come here this late at night. But I’m here almost every night. I feel safer here. I don’t have to be so alone in my thoughts here because of you. Other girls my age are listening to music idols or wanting to get into the latest trend. I spend most of my free time at the church, whether thinking or praying, speaking to you or listening to those whose hearts are heavy. Most of the students already call me Sister Seira even though I’m not officially a nun yet. That will have to wait until after high school. But I’m glad that they trust me as one already. I guess they see me around the church enough to believe I am. It’s so quiet here at night. So peaceful. I may not be a thief, but I do love the night as much as Meimi. Enveloped in inky darkness, it’s not the cacophony of confusion that daylight brings. I feel so out of place, nothing like the other girls. They don’t see me as one of them. I might as well already be a nun in their minds, one of the many who teach at the school. I don’t understand what they’re talking about half the time. I can only smile and nod and pretend I have some vague idea of what’s going on. During the day, there are so many distractions, so many confusing things. At night, I can finally try to unravel the knots in my heart. I can sit here and think, trying to make sense of my confused soul. Meimi. She is what confuses me the most. Yet she is the one truth I can hold onto. She’s who I understand better than anyone. She’s energetic and emotional and altogether too flighty. But that’s part of her charm. She gets so confused about herself sometimes. I think I understand her better than she does herself. But that’s just because she hasn’t taken the time to try to find out what she’s like. She’s always busy with other things, her thoughts elsewhere. My thoughts are always inexorably drawn to her. I want to know everything about her. I want to immerse myself in all that is her. So when she likes something, I’ll try to find out all I can about it. Whether it’s a band or a movie star or some type of stuffed animal, I’ll spend my free time digging up all the information I can on it. Maybe it’s my way of being closer to her. I want to understand her heart and soul. Everything that makes her who she is. Meimi’s escapades as Saint Tail was another way I could be closer to her. She has always been so amazing. Athletic, talented, smart. I used to clap until my hands ached when she would show me magic tricks as a child. The magician and the nun. What an odd pair we must have made as children. What an odd pair we must still make. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I thank you for that, for letting me find Meimi. I’ve spent so long watching her, fascinated by what I saw. It was only a matter of time before I found a way to put her talents to use. Everyone suffers. You learn that in the church. But suffering is part of life. All the same, I want to end that suffering. But there wasn’t anything I could do on my own. People would come to me with their problems and all I could do was listen and pray for them. Until I finally found out how they could truly receive God’s protection. It didn’t take long to talk Meimi into it. I know all the right buttons to push with her, so I knew she’d do it before I even asked. I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I believe some things are justified in helping people. Even some deceit and trickery. Otherwise I wouldn’t have teamed up with a magician and thief to grant people your protection. Sometimes you have to do what you can to help people, even if it is a little underhanded. But I would be lying if I said those were my only reasons for recruiting her as Saint Tail. I wanted something to share with her, something that was ours and ours alone. A little secret we could share, times we could sneak away together like lovers to whisper about things no one else would ever hear. So in a way, this is my love life. Standing in a church at midnight as I await my love to come rushing in to pray with me and then run off to steal something back from someone. Though I’m sure she doesn’t see it that way. I blush faintly at all these thoughts rushing through my head, seeing her once again vividly in my mind. Saint Tail is our little secret. The one thing that we can share away from the rest of the world. Something we can do together, just the two of us. It makes me feel closer to her. It lets me have something of her that no one else can have. But I don’t know how much longer that can last. Her game of cat and mouse with Asuka Jr. concerns me. If he finds out who she is, our little secret will be out in the open. Our time together in the middle of the night will end. I’ll no longer be blessed with her midnight visits. And I don’t want to lose all of that. It’s too important to me. But it’s getting more dangerous. I keep warning her about letting him find out, but she keeps wavering. I think she loves the chase. Having him run after her, spending all of his time and effort on her. But he doesn’t care for her. He only cares about Saint Tail. He’s chasing Saint Tail, scorning Meimi. I love Meimi, not some mystery girl that I don’t know. Tuxedo or school uniform, I love her just the same. But I can’t tell her that. I can’t let her know that my heart beats for her. I can only warn her about letting him find out. And I know Meimi well enough to know that the whole game of cat and mouse wouldn’t be fun for her if there was no danger of him finding out who she is. So all I can do is watch and worry. And pray. But pray for what? That she could somehow love me? That she won’t let Asuka Jr. find out for my sake? Or for the sake of all she’s helping as Saint Tail? I don’t know. So I don’t know if those prayers are reaching you. Just... Please keep her safe, no matter what path she chooses. I couldn’t live with myself if she got hurt as Saint Tail. That would be entirely my fault because I’m the one who convinced her to be Saint Tail in the first place. Saint Tail and Meimi are almost two different people. I don’t think Meimi realizes it, but I can see. She changes when she puts on that costume. She’s braver, more sure of herself as Saint Tail. She’s more dedicated and focussed in a way, too. Which helps her to do what she needs to, even if she does still play with Asuka Jr. chasing her. I had no idea that would happen when I asked her to be Saint Tail. It never crossed my mind that she would be almost a completely different person as a mysterious thief. And yet, I love them both. Because they are two sides of my dear Meimi. They’re both her in their own way. I wish I could bring this up with Meimi, but I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t tell her how I feel. And she wouldn’t believe me if I told her she acted like a different person as Saint Tail. She probably doesn’t see it. If anything, it’s Saint Tail that likes Asuka Jr. Meimi doesn’t get along with him at all. But I can’t explain that to her. So she thinks that she might like him as well. And it obviously confuses her horribly. It hurts that there’s nothing I can do to help her. All I can do is be Meimi’s friend. All I can do is watch on while she falls in love and drifts from me. All I can do is pray for her to be happy in her life. I’ve always known we couldn’t be together. We’re both girls. She doesn’t like me that way. My role is with the church. I’ve known all of these things from the moment I fell in love with her. So it was never about getting her love for myself. It’s always been about simply loving her, getting closer to her and finding out everything I can about this beautiful girl who wandered into my life. I will one day become a nun, devoted to you. I will never love another other than her. She will always be in my heart, even though my path does not let me be with her. But that’s all right. It hurts, sometimes. But this is how things are supposed to be. I try to remind myself of that when I find myself crying, longing to be held in her arms. That will always remain a dream, but one I will cherish as I live my life for you. I will always love Meimi. My calling to the church doesn’t change that. A noise behind me scatters my thoughts to the wind. It’s her. I can tell without even looking. She may be a silent thief, but I know all of her tricks. And I know this church better than my own room, so it’s easy enough to tell when someone enters. Especially her. I guess certain habits never go away. She’s still trying to sneak up on me. I don’t turn, still kneeling in prayer. What’s she doing here tonight, I wonder? I didn’t call her about any missions for Saint Tail. She’s never mistaken the day before. Maybe there’s something she wants to talk about. My heart nearly seizes up with apprehension at that thought. Whatever she would want to talk about this late would probably be very important. I’ve always been her confidante, and I’ll always continue to be so. But whatever is important enough to have her come here in the middle of the night worries me. Is it about her feelings for Asuka Jr.? Did something happen at home? Does she want to quit being Saint Tail? Now I stand up. I can’t keep my anxiety from rising up within me. I turn around, my long, white dress flowing about me. I never did bother changing out of my nun’s clothes. There she is, radiantly beautiful as ever. For some reason, she has come to me as Saint Tail. My concern escalates. Did she go do something as Saint Tail on her own tonight? Did something bad happen? Did someone find out who she was? “Meimi, are you all right?” I ask worriedly, my hands clasped together. She doesn’t answer me. Her eyes are cast in shadows, making it impossible for me to tell what lay inside of them or whether she’s been crying. She starts to advance on me, her short pink skirt swishing about as she does, the only noise in the empty church. I take a half-step back unconsciously. She keeps coming forward. “Meimi?” I ask, more nervously this time. No reply. Just the repeated swish-swish of her skirt and the light clack of her heels on the floor. I take another step back. And another. I smile weakly. “It’s good to see you, Meimi- chan. I was just thinking about you. I hope that you’re okay.” Still no answer. There’s something almost predatory in the way she’s walking. I swallow, taking another few steps back. Something hits me from behind, making me gasp out loud. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath to try and calm myself. It’s only the altar. I must be pretty worked up if I could have stumbled into it. And over Meimi at that. But she’s always been the one to get me all worked up, even if she doesn’t know it. I open my eyes again, watching her stepping purposely towards me. Her beautiful auburn ponytail swishes in time with her skirt, her coattails shifting behind her as she walks ever closer. She’s simply stunning. No wonder Asuka Jr. is so obsessed with finding out who this beautiful Seraph is. So many boys have already been smitten with her. Even her best friend, a girl dedicated to the church has fallen in love with her. How could I help myself from doing just that? She’s stolen a lot of hearts. She truly is a thief. But she can keep mine forever. I don’t need it back. I’d rather she had it anyway. So captivated by her beauty am I that I barely realize how close she’s getting until she’s practically upon me. I move again, but my escape is blocked by the altar. I rest my hands on it, holding on tightly until my knuckles go white. I smile again shakily. “Was there something you wanted, Meimi?” My voice is shaking. Even I can hear it. It’s never been this bad when I’ve been around her before. I’ll feel warm and dizzy inside, but this has me completely lost. I don’t know what to say or do. I feel trapped. She can feel it, can’t she? The love I have for her must be excruciatingly obvious this close. Why else would I be so weak and nervous being near her? Meimi is silent, standing before me. Strong, intent, focussed. Everything that I can’t muster at the moment. A gloved hand reaches up slowly. Her fingertips brush my burning cheeks, sending an electric tingle through my skin. My cheeks darken considerably even as I try to fight back my blush. “Meimi-chan, maybe we should go outside. It’s awfully hot in here tonight,” I say, trying to sound casual. I don’t look at her as I do. I can’t. I’d melt if I look into her eyes, I just know it. I move to the left, trying to escape being in such close proximity to this girl. She’s taking over all of my senses. But before I can get away from her, Her arm blocks my path. I turn only to find her other arm blocking the other way, boxing me in. Her arms on the altar to either side of me, I find myself trapped facing her. My heart beats deafeningly inside of me. She must be able to hear it in the quiet of the night. I command it to be still, but it’s not mine to control. It’s in her hands, after all. I can only stand there, pressed tightly against the altar, looking down. Why is she doing this? Why is she working her magic on me in such a way? Even she can’t be naïve enough to not notice how this is affecting me. Yet even then, I pray she won’t ask me about it. I didn’t want her to find out. I didn’t want her to know I love her. She could never love me anyway, so there’s no reason. Yet now I find myself almost hoping that she knows. That she’s discovered my deepest, darkest secret. That she can finally drag it out into the light. “Seira,” she whispers in my ear. Whether it’s her intention or not, it sure sounds seductive to me. I shudder imperceptibly (I hope) at the sound of her voice echoing throughout me. Her gloved fingers take my chin, tilting my head up. I blush darkly but do nothing to stop her. My head moves up docilely until I’m looking at her once more. Even now, I can’t see her eyes. The shadows and her bangs keep them a mystery to me. I feel that if I could get through that to see them, that everything would make sense. I’d be able to understand what Meimi was doing, what she was thinking. But they’re still hidden from me. And her hand is cupping my chin. And her face is moving closer, inching nearer. My eyes widen in a mixture of horror and yearning. I want to stop her. But I can’t. I just can’t bring myself to stop her. Not when I’ve dreamt of this for years. Her lips brush mine, warm and soft and incredibly delectable. That delicate touch hardly seems enough, a small glimpse of heaven that leaves me longing for more. Meimi doesn’t keep me waiting long. Her lips return to mine, more insistent this time. My thoughts are jumbled, an incoherent mess as she kisses me. I press back further, but she only moves closer. Her body presses against me now, sending more shocks through my body. I’m trapped between her and the altar, her kisses growing more passionate as she does what she wants in response to my own pliable kissing. It’s then that I realize I’m kissing back. Nervously, sure, but I’m kissing back all the same. I can’t stop myself. I don’t want to stop myself. Each kiss touches my soul like a gentle caress. One of her arms snakes around my back, pulling me tighter against her. I make a weak gasp but otherwise offer up no struggle. What am I doing? I should be telling her to stop. Or... Or.. It’s hard to think past the kisses. They’re so warm and they surround my mind like a fuzzy blanket, wrapping it up nice and tight. Why is she doing this to me? Can’t she see how weak she makes me? My strength comes from the fact that I can never have her. Please don’t take that away, Meimi-chan. My resolve would crumble. My plans for the future would fall apart. I would be in freefall. And it’s all up to you. All of my strength, whether I have it or whether it all leaves me is entirely up to you. One of her hands caresses my cheek, the soft feel of her gloves against my skin almost too much for me. But if I fall here, I know that she’ll catch me, hold me tightly. But if I fall because of this, who will save me? My entire life has been dedicated to repaying the nuns who raised me by devoting myself to God. I knew I couldn’t be with Meimi, so it wasn’t a problem. But if she could love me, then what? What would I do? How could I possibly choose between her and my path in life? I’m so confused again, even in the solace of the church, in the night. My confusion has finally found me, no matter how well I hid from it. I want to tell her, to say something, to just collapse from all of this madness. But she has other ideas. Her tongue presses against my lips. My cheeks burning, my own lips open, accepting her. I can feel her tongue brushing past mine, a thrill shooting through me at the feeling. I kiss back hesitantly, but find myself responding more and more to her lead. ‘Wherever you take me, I’ll follow,’ I think, though whether this is more a declaration or a realization, I haven’t a clue. I don’t want this to ever end. I just want to be in her arms forever, to feel this way for eternity. Is this what Heaven is like? This delicious taste of ethereal joy? Part of me still tries to fight it, telling me that I shouldn’t be doing this, that my path in life forbids it. But I’m held captive by her lips, by the feel of her against me. I gather all of my strength, what little is left, and kiss my beautiful Saint Tail with everything I have. It leaves me breathless, more confused than ever, but with a wonderful electric feeling in my stomach. She steps away from me, her hands lingering on my sides for a moment before finally pulling away. It’s only then that I realize my eyes are closed. “Meimi-chan,” I whisper, blushing deeply. “I love you,” I say, forcing it out before I get too scared to say it. I don’t care how confusing it is anymore. I know that to be true. I know I love her, no matter what trouble that causes. And I want her to know it, too. I await her answer anxiously, but nothing comes. Is she still playing mute? Or does she not know what to say? Is she as embarrassed and unsure of everything as I am? I slowly open my eyes to see, but she’s gone. I glance around frantically, but she is nowhere to be seen. Disappeared like a magic trick, not even smoke left in her wake. My shoulders slump, her spirits dropping. Gone. Like a thief in the night. But what was she here to steal? I kneel, clasping my hands in prayer once more. This is my solace. But even as I begin to pray, thoughts of her linger with me. God is in everything. Maybe I don’t have to differentiate between my love for Him and my love for Meimi. Maybe... “I love you, Meimi-chan,” I whisper again with all the strength of a prayer. I love you. Even if you aren’t there when I open my eyes.